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How detrimental is it to move children from their childhood home?

We recently found out we will have to sell our house and move out of the area. The kids (12 & 8) are devasted because they don't want to leave their friends/school/family. They are afraid they won't make new friends. My in-laws are telling us that they know first hand of children who have suffered mental illness because of a drastic move like this. I have read that moving may cause some issues in children, but mental illness? Should we be concerned?


Asked by Anonymous at 10:54 AM on May. 12, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • I was a military brat; 4 places in one year.

    It's all in how the parents handle it. You treat it as an adventure, a new beginning, and they will treat it as the same. They will be sad to leave their friends and what they know, but talk up how exciting it will be to meet new friends - everyone thinks the "new kid" in school is cool. Make this exciting for the kids and don't listen to the IL's. Don't let them upset your kids!

    Answer by Scuba at 11:21 AM on May. 12, 2010

  • detrimental? um, it's not. Sure it's a bit hard at first but they get over it! Moving does not cause mental illness. LMBO at that statement!

    if you have to move, then you move! it's as simple as that. If your kids want to keep in touch with friends, get addresses so they can be pen pals.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:56 AM on May. 12, 2010

  • One move is not detrimental. If you moved all the time and they never got to settle in anywhere, that would be another thing.

    It will be hard, I am sure, but you can help them keep in touch with their friends...and remind them that they will make new ones. when you move, help them get involved in activities and things where they will be exposed to different kids and things so they have as much opportunity to make new friends. Also, I would do everything you can to make them comfortable with their new school and all that as well.

    i am with anon:56. its pretty hilarious that there are some people who think moving actually CAUSES mental illness.

    I would just do what you can to help them get settled and make it a fun experience. if they get their own rooms or even if they share at the new place, i would let them arrange it/paint/decorate too.

    Answer by aly38914290 at 11:01 AM on May. 12, 2010

  • Moving can have benefits for kids. It depends on the move and how its handled. My kids lived in 4 cities while they were growing up and adjusted easily.


    Answer by Gailll at 11:01 AM on May. 12, 2010

  • My sisters Husband has been in the coast Guard for the past 20 yrs. They have moved their kids about 8 times over the years and they are fine. There are ways to keep in touch with old friends. We also moved 2 yrs ago, when our oldest was 11, it's about 2 hours from his childhood home, and he's done very well. He's made great friends, and made the transition in his new school really well. He was in his old school from Kindergarten until middle of the 5th grade. Don't worry, as long as they have your support they will be fine. Don't let anyone scare you. Take them to see the new town, school, etc.

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 11:02 AM on May. 12, 2010

  • I moved around a lot as a kid and yes, it sucks, but it isn't that bad.

    Answer by Christina807 at 11:06 AM on May. 12, 2010

  • I think your inlaws just don't want you to move away from them and are trying to scare you into not moving.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:28 AM on May. 12, 2010

  • OP here... Frankly this makes me want to get away from my in-laws even more. They are not being supportive at all and instead of encouraging the kids they are being negative and scaring them into thinking the move will be a bad thing. I just hope the kids believe us more than them.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:42 AM on May. 12, 2010

  • No. Kids have to move all the time. They adjust and make new friends. I did fine. I hated it at first and wanted to move back to RI but it's not like it made me act out or anything. I still would rather live in RI then KS though. lol but oh well. All my friends and family are here now. I was 10 when we moved and now I am 22. I do still talk to my 2 best friends from then though. They live in different places now too. Because of sites like myspace and facebook we were able to get back in touch.

    Answer by thisloveofmine at 12:19 PM on May. 12, 2010

  • I went to 18 different elementary schools and 5 different high schools. It sucked sometimes, but I did not suffer any mental illness from it. I adapt to change well, and do not find it hard to meet new people.

    Answer by EternalDreams at 12:24 PM on May. 12, 2010