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what would you do if your husband forgot your birthday?

My birthday was yesterday and my husband has not remember as of today. I have not said anything, but am getting more upset the longer he does not remember. I don't want to cave and tell him though because then I will really feel like a big baby.

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Asked by shanbee at 6:08 PM on Sep. 24, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (8)
  • Well,since he forgot, why not make him feel bad like he has made you feel bad, but, do it in such a nice way that you don't sound pissed but really are.

    Answer by Kat122 at 6:13 PM on Sep. 24, 2008

  • Heh. My husband forgets his OWN birthday. I never expect him to remember mine. I use a few gentle reminders, like telling him I would really like a cake or whatever. I also have the kids who now remind him.

    I would tell him that you're hurt because he forgot.

    Answer by SkyeGirl at 6:33 PM on Sep. 24, 2008

  • I forgot my anniversary and my SO let it go for 2 weeks before I said something like "Crap our anniversary came and went"...all he did was laugh because he thought he'd be the one to forget. I wouldn't take it too personally. Tell him. I think its childish to sit on it if you're just getting mad about it. What's the real plan? Wait til he remembers and jump him about it? Cry about it? Make him feel awful about forgetting? At least if you tell him now he will have the chance to do something about it. I love the comedian Ron White's line "You ever FORGET? Well it happened to me once". It can go one of two either feel bad, have a fight about it and remember it as the worst birthday ever, or you tell him, laugh about it, and possibly enjoy an evening out.

    Answer by kabbot01 at 6:35 PM on Sep. 24, 2008

  • I don't think playing games is a good answer. Be honest and forthright and tell him that he forgot your birthday and your feelings are hurt. Make sure that you tell him EXACTLY what he can do to make it up to you. Do you want a nice present? Do you want to go out to dinner? Make sure he knows without it having to be a guessing game or a "prove you love me by reading my mind" moment. That'll just prolong your hurt and make him feel like he shouldn't bother since anything he does will be wrong. Right?

    ps: happy belated birthday. :)

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:37 PM on Sep. 24, 2008

  • You must tell him tonight! You are a grown woman who has been hurt by the man you love and he needs to know. My husband didn't forget but my family always made a big deal about birthdays. When I married him, it came down to practically nothing. I let him know I was hurt and I wanted him to consider celebrating my birthday with me with a cake, a present and a meal. I was fortunate he has. If he didn't though, I would make plans to celebrate it the way I want to and work on forgiving him. Ultimately, we must forgive to be right with our spouse and at peace ourselves. I cried about it too. Do you best to express your feelings and your desire to be treated special on your birthday rather than how he screwed up. Ask specifically for what you want and give him the chance to make it up to you if he wants to. Give us an update!

    Answer by manna1qd at 6:39 PM on Sep. 24, 2008

  • If my husband forgot my birthday I wouldn't believe it. He NEVER forgets any occasion, but that's my dh. Now me??? A different story. I have forgotten his birthday too many times. Never for 2 days, but I would't put it past me. I procrastinate and put off getting him a gift. I'm terrible. My new year's resolution was to remember birthdays! I would remind him and tell him he owes you - BIG TIME. heheheheh. sorry though, that sucks.

    Answer by supergenius at 6:41 PM on Sep. 24, 2008

  • Some guys just don't have the built in DNA to remember dates. So buy yourself a big old calendar and hang it on the wall. Put your birthday on there in big red letters, also your anniversary and Mother's Day or whatever else you want remembered. Then start about two weeks out talking about how excited you are because the big day is coming and you can't wait to see what he's getting you.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:35 PM on Sep. 24, 2008

  • Okay, well I told him last night that he had forgotten my birthday and he felt really bad and I felt better for telling. I don't care about cards or gifts just a simple Happy Birthday. I think it was just hard because he has never forgotten before.

    Thanks for your comments though.

    Answer by shanbee at 1:00 PM on Sep. 25, 2008

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