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if your a woman that forgave your husband for cheating,

did it make your relationship stronger???what did u ask of him to regain your trust?how does this healing process begin???

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:26 AM on May. 12, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • it took a long time as far as trusting him not wondering when he was late what was he doding or who was calling his cellphone or when we were out is he looking at her and why..it made me crazy i had to tell myself if we are going to make this work i gotta stop.....as long as you are both willing to work on our marriage then its worth it the time limit on the healing process is different for everyone . we had to sit down and talk about it and find out what we wanted from each other as a husband and wife.good luck....PS ONLY YOU KNOW WHATS RIGHT FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY SO OUTSIDERS WHO ARE OFFERING ADVICE TAKE IT LIGHTLY.THATS YOUR MARRIAGE AND NOONE KNOWS WHAT YOUR FEELING OR WHAT HE IS FEELING.........GOOD ;LUCK
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:32 AM on May. 12, 2010

  • It made our relationship stronger. I asked him to change completely and to be completely honest. We moved away, and from there, our life changed. I changed too. I did not take our marriage for granted after that. I read books that helped me understand and heal ('After the affair'--not sure who the author is) was a very helpful book. I almost left him a couple times afterwards because I felt that he was taking me for granted, but he never let me leave (not by physical restraint, but by asking me not to). I think those times definitely opened up his eyes. It made me realize that he really didn't want to lose me. We both turned to God, and made him the center of EVERYTHING. We were very much into the world before the affair, afterwards I realized that I could not do it on my own and that I needed God. Now, 4 years later, I love my husband more than ever before. I am so grateful that we made it through.
    peace1234

    Answer by peace1234 at 11:37 AM on May. 12, 2010

  • I tried but after a year of him not willing to talk about it, I finally gave up. Once he knew that I wasn't joking, he decided that he wanted to change, go to church, see it from my point of view. BUT by that time, I was done. It wasn't enough that I'd moved out for 3 months or refused to sleep with him for a month after that. Because he couldn't help me and help us work thru it, he lost me. The feelings just died there.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 11:50 AM on May. 12, 2010

  • It would have made the relationship last longer if he didn't go back out and do it again so I had to walk away. If the man doesn't repeat the offense it make sense that it would make the relationship stronger. You learn from the incident. You can discuss the cause of the straying and strengthen whatever weakness there was. You shouldn't have to ask him to do anything to regain your trust. He should want to prove to you on his own that he'll never do it again. The healing begins just like any other hurt and time will heal it. There will be a scar but you don't have to dwell on it.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:52 AM on May. 12, 2010

  • admckenzie, are you a therapist or social worker? you give the best advice and sometimes i read questions that i didnt ask and almost always do i walk away with some valuable information. thanks.

    btw, i'm not the OP, just a fan.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:57 AM on May. 12, 2010

  • IT has nothing to do with my our marriage is stronger now. But it took years of counseling to get to the point of forgiveness. And I don't mean "forgive and forget" because you never forget. And you never have the same level of trust. There are many days that I wish I would have left him.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:05 PM on May. 12, 2010

  • My husband cheated in 2005 with a co-worker. It was a difficult time because I was pregnant when i found out. We went to counseling through our church and worked it out. It's now 2010 and I wish I could say there were not alot of fights during the last few years but there has been. It was not so much that he gave me reason to think but, but my mind would wander and I would just relive the whole thing over. He is truly sorry and has proven his love and devotion to me and our child. We moved away because of his work and our marriage is strong. Advice was given from everyone, but in the end I did was was right for myself and my child. It has worked out. You gotta mentally be strong and move forward. Try not to think about it and you will know if he is sincere. If he's not...then you should probably leave. It can work out though. We are stronger now.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:11 PM on May. 12, 2010

  • One more thing. At the very least, just know that nobody will ever be able to hurt you this bad again. Hope it works out.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:12 PM on May. 12, 2010

  • Thank you everyone for your answers
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:18 AM on May. 13, 2010

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