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Should this be addressed?

Recently my husbands 4 year old nephew had visited with his parents. I noticed he has this weird fetish with wanting to rub womens feet and sometimes other places. He kept wanted me to sit on the couch with him so he could rub my feet and then he would rub my leg and it started creeping me out. I went to bend over to pick something up off the floor and he came up behind me and stuck his hand up the back of my shirt and wanted to rub my back! My mother-n-law said she stopped him from rubbing her feet because now he would get aroused. Is this a sign something might have happened to this child? When at the circus we had box seats and he kept staring at the 3 little girls next to us where it got to the point they told their father he was creeping them out. Should I say something or wait to see if when he goes to school the teachers notice?

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:13 PM on May. 12, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (6)
  • I would let HIS parents handle it. I am sure if it is that noticeable, they HAVE noticed. If he touches you again, I would say OUT LOUD "please don't do that. Thank you." Let him know you you will NOT tolerate it. BE short and matter of fact. Good luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:17 PM on May. 12, 2010

  • I would say something. It doesnt sound normal or healthy to me.

    Answer by Amanda7891 at 12:18 PM on May. 12, 2010

  • You need to make this known to his parents. This is something that isn't normal. Children do mimic their parents, but his reaction to it and almost need to do it is alarming. It isn't normal for a child to want to rub someone down and to then become aroused by it. I can't say what his intentions were for the girl at the circus, but the other behaviours should be addressed.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 12:33 PM on May. 12, 2010

  • Whatever you do don't ever shame him for his behavior, he is too young to understand and that will damage him. His parents should already be aware, unless they are blind and/or are ok with it. Definitly sounds strange and a little creepy. GL

    Answer by Liz30355 at 12:40 PM on May. 12, 2010

  • Oh yes I forgot to add his parents are aware of it and they just laugh it off. (They are not exactly the best role models)

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:08 PM on May. 12, 2010

  • Gosh... what a tough one... If his parents know about it and blow it off... I guess you should just wait and see. They might get offended if you bring it up wrong. Remember, he's a boy and 80% of the men I know, love to touch soft things. My dad actually pets my mom's legs at night because he loves the feeling of her skin... and he's definitely not a creeper. lol! My 4 year old son also likes to rub my legs and arms. It doesn't bother me so much as I know he's not doing it to get aroused... it's more of a comfort thing. Your nephew does need to be taught boundaries though. He should learn that he should get peoples permission before he starts putting his hand up their shirts. Maybe you could bring that up with his parents as that could definitely get him into trouble later on. As for the gawking on the girls, I'm not sure there's much you can really saw other than "it's not nice to stare." What a tough situation!

    Answer by things_not_sane at 9:39 PM on May. 12, 2010

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