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What do you ladies think about this theory?

I read a post yesterday that said that "once a cheater always a cheater " do you feel the same way? Or can your man change and never do it again? From my own experience I would like to think that my DH has changed and would never georpadize our marriage again. How about for women? Do you think we are capable of not cheating again or does this theory mainly apply to men? What has been your experience ?


Asked by Anonymous at 12:17 PM on May. 12, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • I have been a cheater in my life, in the past....There is nothing on this earth that would make me jeopardize my family or in any way take my baby away from her daddy. 30 mins. of dick is just not worth it.

    To answer your question yes I believe people can change if they WANT to.


    Answer by Anonymous at 12:24 PM on May. 12, 2010

  • I've cheated before but wouldn't on my SO now.... I cheated because my ex was abusive.... I'm not proud of it but it happened

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 12:20 PM on May. 12, 2010

  • I'm sure there are people that are capable of turning themselves around and becoming faithful however in my experience it has not shown to be true.

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 12:21 PM on May. 12, 2010

  • I think some people can change. I have hope for myself

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:25 PM on May. 12, 2010

  • There is no difference between women and men. Cheating isn't chemically programmed into a certain gender, it's a choice. A choice that can be made by either gender at any time. Men and Women are both guilty of cheating and can do it repeatedly. They can both also learn from their lesson, though that is far less likely. It is possible though that a man/women who cheats once will never do it again. However, I would never trust someone who cheated on me. I have been cheated on and I would never go back with that man even if we were the last two people on earth. The reason being is that he chose someone else over me. He decided that, that person deserved his attention, his affection, his romance over me. If I, his girlfriend (or wife) am not worthy of souly getting that from him .. then I do not ever need him in my life. A commitment between two people should never be broken by betrayal.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 12:30 PM on May. 12, 2010

  • I think the term applies more for men than for women after all, a lot of men have that double standard thing going on. I do not beleive that anyone can change anyone else, you are who you are and that is it, take it or leave it. A lot of men thrive on the trill of the no no, not getting caught being the cool guy that can get away with it, and a lot of the times the relationships have no meaning whatsoever, but the thrill is still there.
    I am one of those women that think the theory is true, years of living have taught me this. I also think that women have a better chance of changing in that respect, they are usually brought on to cheating by circumstances within the relationship.
    I have always from day one told my husband of 38 years that if I were to ever find out he was cheating that would be the end of our relationship, so this he has always known, a lot of women do not spell this out early on.cont...

    Answer by older at 12:33 PM on May. 12, 2010

  • But if you have found a way of making your marriage work after deception, power to you, but if you find yourself wondering when he is late or when you are not sure of his whereabouts and doubting without trust, then you are doing you and your family a diservice.

    Answer by older at 12:35 PM on May. 12, 2010

  • The answer is yes...anyone can. The reality is many don't want to - or don't know how to change. The key words above were, " my experience". I would have swore - no wait...I did that when I got married...that I would not cheat. You know...forsaking all others? But things happen...who banked on mental illness? Who knew where the path of life would lead? Who was qualified to make the decision to end my marriage - except me? And whose judgement was is to "cheat"? What I realized in retrospect, it was what it was, it happened, but most importantly...I learned. When life presented the opportunity to change partners again, I was determined to do so within my own moral code of NOT cheating; by ending one relationship before another began in earnest. My partner and I openly discuss this, which is also critical in keeping a relationship close, healthy and affair-proof.

    Answer by mommyx9 at 12:36 PM on May. 12, 2010

  • Yes Men can change, anyone can. They do however have to WANT to change.

    Answer by RheaF at 12:39 PM on May. 12, 2010

  • Quoting Dr.Phil: "Past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior, unless something drastic happens to change the behavior." Well I might not have it word for word (so I guess I shouldn't have quoted right), but I believe this statement to be true. If nothing changes than you can expect someone to continue cheating. But if a man or woman realizes that they can and will lose everything if they cheat, they will not do it.


    Answer by peace1234 at 12:44 PM on May. 12, 2010