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Wrong to keep quiet if DH came home early from over seas?

We thought DH would be home in July so I was thrilled when he said he'd be home in about a WEEK! DH really wants to surprise our older boys by picking them up from school! However, we are wondering if it would be best not to tell any one else he will be here early. My MIL is notorious for spilling the beans when it comes to secrets. The family always leaves her out of the loop til the last minute because she tells every one ruins surprises. LOL. Also, DH said today that he wanted a few days by ourselves. He will need a few days to recuperate and he doesn't want his family showing up uninvited or unannounced as is their habit and bombarding us with a party. They've done this a few times without even asking, and a few times it has totally ruined the plans we'd made. Then they leave and WE have to clean up after a party neither of us planned. So do ya'll think it'd be wrong to keep it a secret until a day or two after he's here?


Asked by Anonymous at 2:42 PM on May. 12, 2010 in Just for Fun

This question is closed.
Answers (38)
  • Do what your husband wants to do; keep it secret. In your situation I would keep it secret.
    Being myself in your situation, I would tell everyone, "Dh is coming home in one week. We want some time to ourselves, so if you want to throw a party, then throw it, we just wont attend." I'd make sure they'd know we'll be attend parties after a week or two, but I'd just tell them we want some alone time so they have to leave us alone. That is sometimes VERY hard to do, but after four years of my Dh's mothers shit, I've eh... "manned up" a bit.

    Answer by SpiritedTigress at 4:49 PM on May. 12, 2010

  • you do not owe it to everyone to tell them the minute he returns home. Give him what he needs, the time and space and don't worry about everyone else, especially if they weren't respecting your time and space before.

    Answer by Precious333 at 2:45 PM on May. 12, 2010

  • Heck No... especially if he is agreeing to keeping quiet about it. Your immediate family deserves that time together without any others. You are the ones who have made the biggest sacrifice, with him being gone, you are the ones who should call the shots.
    Hooray That he is coming home early.

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 2:45 PM on May. 12, 2010

  • I wouldn't tell a soul and if they want a party tell them to have it at their house.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 2:45 PM on May. 12, 2010

  • I would keep it quite too, and enjoy some one on one!!!!

    Answer by older at 2:48 PM on May. 12, 2010

  • The only ones who will consider it wrong will be the people you are keeping it from.. And who cares? It's what your husband wants and it's what you want..

    Answer by Ren_Ren at 2:48 PM on May. 12, 2010

  • Absolutely nothing wrong with keeping it to yourself. When my brother was in Iraq a few years ago, we did the same thing - he wanted to surprise our parents to DH and I were the only ones that knew for sure. It was actually 4 years ago today he was on his way home, 4 years ago tomorrow that we picked him up. If your hubby especially wants it kept quiet, then honor his wishes - it's hard on them to come home and get bombarded.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:48 PM on May. 12, 2010

  • Absolutely not! You guys deserve some alone time. I'd probably do the same thing. Just be prepared for their feelings to be hurt, and try to plan a big event for them to make up for it.

    BTW, I'm very excited for ya'll!

    Answer by renea20 at 2:49 PM on May. 12, 2010

  • OP here- HECK no they don't respect our space! The night before DH left, we'd not planned anything. We were spending a quiet evening at home with our three kids. Then his family showed up about 8:30pm and didn't leave til 11pm. I was PISSED. I was thinking I would have to tell them to get the hell out. I have never understood his family and why they feel so entitled to descend upon our home and over stay their welcome.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:49 PM on May. 12, 2010

  • it's perfectly fine to keep your secret. It's for a good reason and if you don't the extended family will ruin the plans. Keep it a secret and have a great time!


    Answer by SylviaNCali at 2:51 PM on May. 12, 2010