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My biggest concern about having another child... any advice on this one?

My daughter is almost two. I'm 28 weeks pregnant. I don't worry about most day to day things, or how I will handle two at once, I know I will adjust and it will become easy.

My ONLY worry is about naptime and bedtime. My daughter was very difficult and needed to be held constantly. That was fine, but now she still needs help getting to sleep most times. At naptime I usually lay with her until she falls asleep. SOMETIMES she will go to sleep if I lay her on the couch and put on a movie for her, but not often.

At bedtime, I get her PJs on, brush her teeth and read her some stories, then sing a song and put her in her crib. Obviously, I can't do either of those things if I have a baby who needs held all the time.

What do/did you do with your infant while you were putting your older child in bed?


Asked by Ati_13 at 3:45 PM on May. 12, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 24 (21,184 Credits)
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Answers (12)
  • my dd still needs me or my dh to sit with here while she falls asleep.. i usually get the baby to sleep first but if he wakes up while i'm getting my dd to bed, i'll take both of them in her room and tell her to lie down while i rock the baby she usually falls asleep before he does GL

    Answer by josiesmommy00 at 3:47 PM on May. 12, 2010

  • My advice is to stop doing what you're doing with your daughter and teach her to go to bed alone. You're just going to make it worse. I had a tv in my daughters room and she would lay down at 8pm and wouldn't go to bed till 10 or 11 sometimes but we took the tv out, dealt with her screaming and crying for 4 days and now when it's bedtime she is out within 5 minutes. Try letting her be a big girl and get her a toddler bed instead of a crib

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:51 PM on May. 12, 2010

  • My sons are 20 months apart. I still did all the normal things with my older child, like sing him to sleep or read him a book at bedtime. I would usually nurse my younger son while laying with my 2 year old to get him to sleep, and at bedtime if my younger so was still awake I would hold him or put him in his swing or on his tummy on a play mat while I sang or read to my older son.

    Answer by laciD at 3:53 PM on May. 12, 2010

  • Anon, there isn't a TV in her room. We have a twin bed in her room, but my mom will be staying with us and paid for most of it... she will be using it until after she leaves (two weeks after my due date). So my daughter is in her crib until after my mom leaves. I don't think that the bedtime routine I have with my daughter is unreasonable. She DOES go to bed by herself, she just gets story time beforehand. She falls asleep by herself in her crib.

    Answer by Ati_13 at 3:56 PM on May. 12, 2010

  • Is your dh around at that time? For us it is a tag team effort.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:56 PM on May. 12, 2010

  • You need to slowly start and different naptime and bedtime routine I would start know and by the time the new baby comes your child will be use to the new routine. When you have more then one child things have to change should I say THINGS WILL HAVE TO CHANGE. Start know you will be thankful you did.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:56 PM on May. 12, 2010

  • My husband is *sometimes* around at bedtime. He works a variable shift, either early morning or late at night, it just depends on the day of the week. He is home for bedtime 5 nights a week, but only available for 2 of them (fucking WoW, I swear to god). Yeah, that might have to be what changes here lol. Anyway, there are at least two nights a week when I will be on my own for bedtime.

    Anon :56, what different routine would you suggest? I'm open to suggestions, I just don't know what else I can do.

    Answer by Ati_13 at 3:59 PM on May. 12, 2010

  • I agree with having her go to bed alone, how will she ever learn if you are constantly catering to her? I think you are making it way harder on her not to mention yourself. She can't go to bed alone because you've never let her. Try it, if she cries, let her cry, she will get used to it. I think you need to put your foot down and put her in her bed and tell her it's bedtime and that's how it goes. It may sound harsh but there is no reason that your daughter cannot go to bed alone or on a normal schedule. YOU make it happen. Good luck!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:06 PM on May. 12, 2010

  • You guys aren't understanding. She gets read a book and then put in bed by herself. She goes to sleep by herself. On a regular schedule. I do not have to rock her to sleep or anything, she does that on her own. She ONLY gets read a book or two, gets a song sometimes and then goes into her bed for the night. I just don't know what I'm going to do wtih the new baby while this is going on.

    Answer by Ati_13 at 4:57 PM on May. 12, 2010

  • I understand what you are have a routine that you do with your child before she actually goes to bed. I only have one toddler, but if I had a newborn on the way this is what I would do. I would try to feed,change/bathe the newborn BEFORE the toddler's story/sing time that way the baby is content for the most part and you can focus on the toddler's time, and bring newborn in the room while you were reading stories,singing etc maybe in her bouncy seat or something. Make it so you start out right away with a routine just like you would with anything else that way eventually you can get them both into the same pattern-bath,pj's,storytime, you see what I am saying...of course a newborn won't understand any story times for a while but it puts them into a pattern from an early stage.I was reading books to my daughter from the time she was 1 month old. Good luck I wouldn't stress it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:11 PM on May. 12, 2010