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Please help, I think my DH is using drugs!

My DH and I have been married for four years and during his teen years he was a meth addict, but have been in recovery for about 9 years. Recently he as been acting different and even looking different. He has these "new friends" that I feel are shaddy and I do not like them and I have expressed this to him but he dosent care. I wonder if he is taking prescription meds behind my back.

He has recently dropped 20-25 pounds and he is over six feet tall and probably only weighs about 140 pounds now. He asked last night why I do not want to have sex with him and I told him that his weight is really starting to bother me. I look at pictures from when we first got together and he looked soo good but now he looks like he is dieing.

I have asked him if he has been using behind my back and he always gets mad and storms away saying that I am accusing him of things. I do not know what to do anymore any advice would be helpful.


Asked by Anonymous at 4:14 PM on May. 12, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Him getting mad and storming off is a sign, loosing weight is a big sign, shaddy friends is another. Hows the money? If he can't account for lost money then you really do have a problem but I think from my past that is is up to NO GOOD and you need to get things out in the open and get the children away from him and you can't help him if he doesn't want to be helped so remember that. E-mail me and we can talk more.

    Answer by raemommy at 4:19 PM on May. 12, 2010

  • You can get OTC tests and test his hair. Not as accurate as a lab test, but it doesn't exactly sound like he'd be willing to go to a lab.

    Answer by Luvmylilmonkies at 4:15 PM on May. 12, 2010

  • tell him you want him to take a drug test, if he refuses, then you know he is on drugs & tell him either get help or divorce

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 4:17 PM on May. 12, 2010

  • Feel free to msg. me. I have gone through this with my sister for about 10 years now. She was just found using meth again. I believe she has been on drugs this whole time. She has constantly been in trouble and the worst thing of all is that she has kids. The one thing I've learned from her relapses, is by the time you suspect they are using again, it's probably been going on for a while. If it walks and talks like a druggie, it is.

    Answer by danielp at 4:22 PM on May. 12, 2010

  • I agree with Purple butterfly. This wouldn't be a subject that I would wait on either. Its black and white for Me. I don't think I'd even be able to NOT divorce him either way because if he was sober for so long, he made the CHOICE now to go back in to this life style without considering you and your family.. so he would be lying, taking money from your family to pay for them and going behind your back to do them.. that's too much deception

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 4:22 PM on May. 12, 2010

  • Thanks you Raemommy, I didnt even think about the money but it has been missing. The otherday we got a letter from our bank saying his account was overdrawn even though he had made a thousand dollar deposit a week earlier. I asked him where it went and he said bills but then he got mad when I asked what fricken bills he paid that would cost us over a grand in a week! I think i need to get out of this situation soon.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:23 PM on May. 12, 2010

  • Yeah the getting angry and storming away is a clear sign that something is going on.
    If he wasn't using then he'd say so. He didn't say he wasn't he just got angry at you for accusing him of it.
    My ex is does/did the same thing whenever he was confronted about something that he shouldn't have been doing. He'd get super angry, lash out at me and deny, deny, deny. He was guilty every single time.

    His weight loss is a big red flag too. No healthy, adult male just drops 20-25lbs for no reason.
    Something is going on.

    You can't be 100% sure that it's drugs but judging from his history, it makes sense that that would be the first assumption.
    Express your concern about his weight loss and behavior. If he's really not using drugs then he should have no problem proving that to you.
    I wouldn't go in on full attack mode. Express yourself calmly and rationally. Be understanding.
    If he still flips out and denies, get your kids and go.

    Answer by Laila-May at 4:32 PM on May. 12, 2010

  • It sounds like he is, especially the weight drop... No grown healthy man above 6ft should weigh 140.... that's gross... he is either really sick or def doing meth.... Make him take a drug test, you don't want that around ur fam..... ppl on that don't think right.... I'm sorry u are going through this, my mom was a coke head for ost my younger yrs and it is super hard.... GL!

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 4:49 PM on May. 12, 2010

  • I would tell him to get a drug test, if he denies it, then he's guilty. Tell him to go get help if he doesn't I would leave immediately. Those are all clear signs that he is using again. I lost my brother to a drug overdose and never seen any signs. I wish I would have. Good luck to you!

    Answer by Tiffany237 at 5:14 PM on May. 12, 2010

  • Go with your gut feeling that is usually the right thing to do. Don't doubt yourself better to be safe then sorry. The fact that he is losing weight is a major concern. Also the fact that he gets angry because clearly he does not want you to know.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:13 PM on May. 12, 2010