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What should I do? Paying for bridesmaids dress?

While drinking my friend asked me to be one of her bridesmaids & of course I said yes. I've known her for years!

I've never been a bridesmaid before though & unfortunately didn't have a ride to where they were looking at the dresses since it was over an hour away from me. She texted me to let me know that the dress should be around $145 & to make sure & pick it up tomorrow. I know that my friends paid for their dresses at my wedding, but those dresses we're in the $50-$100 mark & they picked their own, so if they could or wanted a more expensive dress that was on them.

She told me the dress I needed to buy & how much it is. :/ I really don't have that kind of money & the fact that it's going to be a 3hr round trip adds to the cost with gas. Still, I don't want to mess up anything if that's what she really wants. What should I do?

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Asked by Anonymous at 7:20 PM on May. 12, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • If you truely can't afford it, you should tell your friend and probably decline to being a bridesmaid. I know it sucks to not participate because of the price of the dress, maybe you could read at the wedding or participate in some other way??

    As for many of the dresses I've seen lately they are almost all at least 180-200 (I'm also a bridesmaid) and yes the dresses are more than I would like to pay for something I'll only wear once, but I kinda knew what I was getting into when I accepted to be bridesmaid.

    Answer by skittles1108 at 7:26 PM on May. 12, 2010

  • OP: I'm still pretty young & the first & only wedding that I went to was my own, so I guess I'm still figuring some things out. My friend is fairly young as well so I guess I just assumed she'd be kind of doing something similar to what I did. I feel so bad that I said I could, I really don't want to back out. I hate to say this, but it'll probably have to go on the credit card that I've been trying to hard to pay down. She doesn't deserve to be stressed about it. I had no idea it was a common price for dresses.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:35 PM on May. 12, 2010

  • Be honest. Tell her you can't afford it. I did that with my first bridesmaid dress and the bride paid for it. She kept it afterward but that was ok. I didn't like it anyway! lol

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:12 PM on May. 12, 2010

  • I would just tell her it's too much for you to spend right now. She can either try to split the cost with your or find someone else.

    Answer by Pnukey at 8:18 PM on May. 12, 2010

  • IMO when you say you will be someone's bridesmaid you pay for the dress they want you to wear. Spending money comes with being a bridesmaid and if you didn't want to do that then you should have said no.

    Answer by newmomma14 at 8:21 PM on May. 12, 2010

  • If she's a true friend, she will understand if you decline. Just don't stick her with the bill. One of my bridesmaids did that to me. Tacky.

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:49 AM on May. 13, 2010

  • Well, that's what entails when you are bridesmaid. Everyone's wedding is different and even though you let your bridesmaids pick their dresses and they were less expensive, it's really the bride's choice of dress and they can be expensive. I am sure that if you let your friend know your situation she would understand since you're such good friends for so many years.

    Answer by rio_burb at 9:15 AM on May. 13, 2010

  • My husband and I were both struggling when we got married, but we paid for our own wedding 100% including dressing the best man, bridesmaids and my husbands mother. We only wanted those invited, to share the day with us and expected nothing. Entering marriage in debt from an elaborate wedding or expecting good friends to pay for clothes for a one day affair to benefit us, just seemed outrageous.

    Answer by GMMOLLY at 9:15 AM on May. 14, 2010

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