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My husband is in jail...

My husband has been in jail since march 27. He went to jail cause of his stupid actions. To this day he says he changed and the he isn't the man he was before. I'm kind of having a hard time believing him. I mean he makes promises, lots of them, and in the end he never keeps them. He writes to me probably 3 times a week and well of course I write to him back. I love him so much. But I don't know if this really made him realize that he is hurting me and our sons. Please I really need some advice about this. I really appreciate it. Thanks

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Nena413

Asked by Nena413 at 11:57 AM on May. 13, 2010 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • so what did he do?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:00 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • well,. what's your question? He's changed at the moment because he is in JAIL - constant stupid actions made to get him in jail, you said yourself its endless promises that are broken, at this point, I wouldn't believe him. I have a father like this.. he should have realized how this would affect you and your sons before jailtime.. sometimes, love can't have anything to do with it,. Its time you stepped up and realized your sons' will be around an "ex-con" now and right now you have to tell people their dad is in jail, so do they.. their future will depend on your decisions to now make a better life and surroundings for them now!
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 12:00 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • Of course he's changed...he's in jail...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 12:20 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • He is going to say whatever he has to to keep you, he is in jail. Let's be real if you were in jail and he was out he would be partying it up and not writing to you 3 times a week. I think you know this already, it is best to move on.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:26 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • The thing about a man being in jail is he has nothing to do but think. He doesn't get to do whatever got him in there and he can think up all kinds of promises to you and unless he is committed to changing, he'll be back to whatever bad thing he was doing not long after he gets released. You need to sit down and think about what you and your sons need, want and deserve.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 12:38 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • People do NOT change. A Leopard does NOT change it's Spots. Move On before you are too old to. Listen to what anon:12:26 said. I worked in a Jail for Many Many years and the Same prisoners Came and went yearly. We knew all their names. We used to joke and say that they were job security because we could always rely on them coming back after they were released. Once a B.S.'r always a B.S.'r. He's just going to drag you along for the ride. LEAVE HIM NOW!!!!!!! and don't look back. YOU deserve better. Have respect for yourself and your children. Do they really need this pain either. Tell yourself how important YOU are and find another Man who is Worthy of YOU!!! Good Luck!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:07 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • he's in jail, hun. i have a bestfriend in prison, and he talks about guys like this-- during their jailtime, they "see their ways" and promise to change, etc.. but when push comes to shove, they dont change. or if they do, it only lasts about 1-3 months and tehy go back to their old ways. they are taken out of the environment they were in, sent to jail. what they learn in jail, will not be helpful for when they are put back in the old environment. no matter WHAT he did. my son's dad is on drugs. he's been in and out of jail almost every month since Dec 09... everytime he goes to jail and gets clean- he changes.. but he gets out of jail and he goes back to the drugs and alcohol and turns back into himself.

    after he gets out of jail, make him PROVE himself to you. his words dont mean shit- you've learned this through broken promises, same as my 4 year old son. actions will prove him
    Shy_Dia

    Answer by Shy_Dia at 1:20 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • This is the perfect opportunity (while he's in jail) to run away & don't look back. There has got to be somewhere else you can go and he will never find you. Go now before it is too late.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:53 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • There is a family member whose girlfriend always was getting arrested (drugs, driving under suspension etc). Every time she was in it would be for months. She'd write me several letters a week because she had nothing else to do. And while there their goal is to get out of there! And promises to you of whatever it is you want to hear is his way to the goal. Not to be harsh, but it takes more than jail time for someone to change their ways. If you want to be with him tell him what has to change before you'll even consider it. And stick to it. GL
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 6:46 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • There is a family member whose girlfriend always was getting arrested (drugs, driving under suspension etc). Every time she was in it would be for months. She'd write me several letters a week because she had nothing else to do. And while there their goal is to get out of there! And promises to you of whatever it is you want to hear is his way to the goal. Not to be harsh, but it takes more than jail time for someone to change their ways. If you want to be with him tell him what has to change before you'll even consider it. And stick to it. GL
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 8:17 PM on May. 13, 2010

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