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if a judge gave your ex rights to your child and you knew that he was an abuser would you run with your child or what would you do?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:37 PM on May. 13, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (13)
  • I'd keep on petitioning the courts. Go back again and again no matter how long it took. Document every situation and when the slightest event occurred I would request a temporary restraining order. If you run with the child,which would be the protective mom instinct to do, and when they finally catch up with you, chances are they will take the child from you and give custody to the ex husband and charge you with kidnapping.
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 12:40 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • It depends. If he abused my child then yes, without a doubt. If he never in the past hurt my child, then no. I'd try my best to fight it in court, though, but wouldn't run IF I was certain my child was safe.

    But then again, how stable are abusers anyway.
    babycakes254

    Answer by babycakes254 at 12:41 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • No yo have to just keep hounding the court system. If you run you'll end up in jail and he will get your kid anyway and you will have lost all control.
    BlooBird

    Answer by BlooBird at 12:45 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • Honestly, I would take my kid and go... courts do make mistakes sometimes, awful mistakes. If I had to I would take my kid and leave the country and not look back. I would definetly break the law for my child.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:46 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • There is No way - I would do all I had to do to prove he was an abuser... No way.. ugh.. makes me sick
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 12:47 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • Depends on the extent of the abuse meaning...if you have to send your child for visitation I would take pictures of your child before he/she went with dad and take pics after the child comes back. If there are any marks on the child you have proof do this with everything like the first poster said, document everything record phone conversations with dad just in case he says something incriminating about abusing your child. In the mean time I would file a motion in court to have dad's visitation modified request that it be monitored/supervised visits at his expense but you may have to pay for them yourself if your requesting, but it's worth it...if you really believe he is abusing your child. You were not very clear on what kind of abuse or if he abused you or the child or both????
    geminisummerz

    Answer by geminisummerz at 12:52 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • Yes, I would. I would try petitioning the courts because I would want my child to have a normal stable life but if it became clear, even in the short term, that it was getting me nowhere fast, I would study up on some law of other countries, where deportation is common and where it is not, take my child and disappear. If I feared for my child's life, I would disappear before trying it the slow way. I might even go so far as to get married or get some sort of job in said other country and get my child on the path to citizenship there any way I could.
    Bellarose0212

    Answer by Bellarose0212 at 1:05 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • IF you can prove it(or even if you couldnt'), he would only get supervised visits until the courts deemed him safe enough to get unsupervised. My husband's ex tried to make him to be an abuser when he wasn't and had no proof, even told people he wasn't abusive, and he still had to have supervised visits for a year and a half and then when she was seen to be crazy, he has every other weekend, joint legal custody.
    NOW: if he really is abusive, where is the proof? GO to the court with the proof, it would make no sense to give him visitation rights, if that is the type of rights you are talking about.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:48 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • oh, and dont' run away. That is the surest, quickest way to lose custody.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:51 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • Keep going to court. Document everything.

    *sigh*

    I know it's easy to say that... When I look at my baby & I think of her being abused, I just can't stand the thought. I don't know what I would do, honestly.
    emslala

    Answer by emslala at 2:46 PM on May. 13, 2010

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