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My 11 year old daughter is a tom boy will she ever get over that stage i try to dress her up and shes okay with for awhile and then she just takes it off i think that she just trys to make me happy oh ya and she does'nt like to use bras.......please help........

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1_happy_mom

Asked by 1_happy_mom at 3:07 PM on May. 13, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 2 (9 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • Let her be who she is. If you try to turn her into who you want her to be then she'll end up resenting you for it.
    She needs to know you love her just the way she is.
    By trying to change her from being a tomboy you're telling her(maybe not purposely) that you'd love her more or be happier with her if she was more girlie.

    If she doesn't like regular bras, get her a sports bra. They're more supportive anyways.

    There is a chance that she'll grow out of it, but there's also a chance she wont. You have to be prepared for that.

    Just love her the way she is.
    Laila-May

    Answer by Laila-May at 3:11 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • Why would you want her to grow out of it??? Being a tomboy is awesome. No makeup to buy, no begging for designer clothes... She won't feel the need to completely sexualize herself at a young age...

    For the bra thing, does she even really need one? I mean, is she even a full A cup at 11 years old? If not, don't worry about it or get her sports bras like the PP said.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:14 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • I have a Tom Boy too. I have had to give up on making her wear what I want her to wear... she just has her own style, and she's not having anything that is "too girly"! For bras, mine will only wear the neutral color cotton/spandex sport bras with a T back.

    VeronicaLee

    Answer by VeronicaLee at 3:16 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • I was the same way, and am even now- though I prefer sundresses & skirts for around the house because they're more comfortable. Don't push her to dress up, she's just being herself! Cherish it!

    As far as wearing a bra goes- its actually beneficial NOT to wear one until support is needed. If she's comfortable NOT wearing one, that should be her choice.
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 3:19 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • i agree. don't try to change her. if thats who she is then you are hurting her by trying to change her
    aliishott2

    Answer by aliishott2 at 3:20 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • I dont have an 11 yr old yet lol but maybe this will help. Clothes are EVERYTHING to kids that age....dont you remember? lol Here is what I plan to do with my 8 yr old as she grows. Meet her half way and compromise and sympathize that clothes are a personality thing for kids. Clothes identify her, like, preppy, rocker, athlete...you know. Stay in style but in budget. Be in control of somethings (like the bra thing...maybe get her some tankinis or tanks for layering.) Maybe try some accessories, a necklace or bangles, earrings and a gloss. Talk to her. Look at Kohls ads...lol. This is my future : )
    3gigglemonsters

    Answer by 3gigglemonsters at 3:24 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • The more you push her,. the more she will resist. Having BEEN an eleven year old tomboy...the WORST thing my mom could do was push clothes on me. She was wise enough to realize that, but my dad was a little thick in that arena. He went to his grave believing women who refused to wear lipstick were lesbians. (I despise lipstick. NOT lesbian.)

    Let your daughter be the person she is. Your ONLY input is on price, durability and decency...make sure her clothes cover what they should and meet school rules. Otherwise, STAY OUT of it. TRUST me on this. You don't want to drive her away.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:42 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • Let he be who she wants to be. Maybe you think its not normal, but it is perfectly fine. If she wants to be a tom boy so what? Just be her mom, she could be doing something a lot worse lol. But maybe she will grow out of it, and if not then thats ok to!
    bellamommyof4

    Answer by bellamommyof4 at 6:08 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • Why do women think it's the end of the world if their girl doesn't want to be all dressed-up and girly? Some ladies just don't like that crap. Personally, I think you should be thankful that your daughter doesn't want to be one of those girls who dresses like a hooker at 11 years old.

    PS I didn't like bras either at that age nd though my mom bought me some at 11 (I was ticked and sooooooooooooooo embarrased) I didn't wear them till I was 13 or so.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:02 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • Stop trying to create a child that you don't have! She's 11 and is a tomboy....so what. Don't live through your child!
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 9:34 PM on May. 13, 2010

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