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How do you rid resentment for your husband?

My hubby is a good guy and is a good dad and Im a good wife and good mom. Short story - He has done some stupid stuff during our marriage. He hasnt cheated or abused me but more like disrespectful stuff, things to hurt me, mean childish things. We have some good days. WE have discussed that we dont want divorce and deep down inside, I know he is still a good guy and I want to fix things but dont know how because.......

I am still angry. How do you deal and get over the resentment especially if your husband is making positive changes? Can anyone relate please? I really need positive advice. Thank you so much.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:45 PM on May. 13, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • im still tryin to figure out that myself, i dont think there is an easy answer, just give it time and maybe reflect on what hi did and how it hurt you and see if you could change your opinion on it....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:48 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • You have to deal with the base core reason for the resentment.

    Once that is done, and the issues are resolved in a mutually satisfactory way.

    YOU must make the choice to let those built up resentments go.

    Ask yourself:
    1) What do I get out of hanging on to these resentments?
    2) What affects on me and my marriage does harboring these resenments bring?
    3) Am I happier hanging on to them?
    4) Is my marriage better hanging on to them?

    If you ask yourself these questions, and you answer them completely and totally honestly. You will find whether or not you are better off hanging on to these resenments or not.. If you are not better off hanging on to them, then why do so..

    If you figure out that hanging on to these resentments has a higher negative affect on you and your marriage. Then make the choice to let them go.. That's it.. You and you alone have to decide whether to hang on or let go of re
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 3:55 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • My advice would be to take a good long look in the mirror. Really reflect on yourself and see what you may have done or said throughout your relationship that he could have taken offense to.
    None of us are perfect, we all do and say things we don't mean from time to time.

    My ex-husband was a complete and utter jerk. He cheated, he insulted me, he disrespected me constantly and I resented him for four years. I still resent him now because of everything he did.
    I was so focused on what HE did that I couldn't see that I wasn't the perfect wife(not that it excuses any of his b.s.) but reflecting on how I was helped me let go of "some" of the resentments I had towards him.

    Would he be willing to go to couples counseling with you?
    My ex wasn't willing, he chose divorce over trying to make things work.
    If you two are serious about not wanting to divorce then he should be willing to do what it takes.
    Laila-May

    Answer by Laila-May at 4:03 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • How do you rid resentment for your husband?

    Easy~ Get RID of the husband! lol :) just kidding

    Start with writing alist of all the things that are good about him, all the things that you love about him...and share the list with him,discuss it.Ask him to write one about you. And go from there.
    Good Luck..hope everything works out!
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 4:17 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • I agree with the list idea. I too would question what the core of that resentment is? Perhaps you already have some insecurities that he stirred up? Getting a checkup from the neckup is always a good idea. Nothing wrong with getting counseling to help you find out what's disturbing you deeply. It also helps to have a support group ready to help you challenge "stanking thinking." I love my support groups that I've developed and words cannot describe how confident and free I now feel. You're worth the investment in self. Go for it!
    Ewadun

    Answer by Ewadun at 5:34 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • i pray
    i try to give it to God
    praying the rosary really helps me a lot.
    i also really like the serenity prayer.
    for years i held on to a huge hurt from my dh, as soon as i did let it go, he started to address it!
    happy2bmom25

    Answer by happy2bmom25 at 7:26 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • Too often to move on in life and start accumulating accomplishments and goals, we overlook that little voice inside that tries to warn us and once we feel we have made it to a plateau, were left with who am I or who the hell is he? Having overlooked your biggest investment; your marriage; for so many years, it's no wonder many are shocked when they have no choice but to look at the bottom line.
    GMMOLLY

    Answer by GMMOLLY at 8:23 AM on May. 14, 2010

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