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Could this be why you became SAHM and refused to become Working mom?

When a woman has a preemie the best thing to do and what doctors recommend is to hold and keep the baby close to your heart at all times. I don't know exactly what's the science behind. What I'm interested to know is for a mother how important is keeping her children close to her. I'm not talking hugging them all day. I'm talking about the notion of having one of the parents with the child at all times.


Asked by Anonymous at 5:18 PM on May. 13, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (55)
  • I'm not sure of the science behind it either, but I know my friend's daughter (preemie) started doing so much better when she started the babywearing. It was pretty cool to watch.

    We got pregnant before the conversation ever formally came up but we'd been together for five years so it had been discussed that I wanted to stay home when I had children. I did go back to work for a while and it just sort of turned out to work better for everyone if I'm home.

    For us, it is very much that I don't trust people with my son. We had a bad experience with both daycares we tried while I was working. No one has to rush to get dinner on the table, little's behavior is so much better, and hubs and I are less stressed.

    It's just a matter of finding what works.

    Answer by flitpixie at 5:40 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • well neither of my children were preemies and I am a SAHM... I didn't REFUSE to be a working mom. My husband and I decided before we even had children that I would stay home and raise them. I was not comfortable with the idea of putting my children in day care. I do think its important for a parent to be with a small child at all time.

    Answer by laciD at 5:21 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • I agree with the poster above. I had a discussion with my DH before we got married. We knew that this is what we wanted to do because we felt that someone should try to always be there whether it was me or him.


    Answer by SylviaNCali at 5:24 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • Wow refuse to become a working Mom? That's harsh. There are many who choose to and their husbands are behind them. Hum wonder why? He goes off to work. He knows his children are taken care of. House, laundry clean. Dinner on the table. The family can relax in the evening because they don't have to try to the house work done. Hum SAHM Moms do work.

    Answer by oldermomof5 at 5:24 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • I just about refuse to become a working mom. I feel that what's best for my child right now is for me to be home with her. We're sort of in a tough situation but we manage. Yeah it could definitely get better money wise if I had a job, but that money is not as important as my child.

    Answer by Deathlilly at 5:30 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • Same here. I honestly believe there isn't a more important job in the world than raising a child. There are SO many day to day things kids learn and it is important to me that they learn from me (honesty, sharing, ... the stuff you learn by living) I didn't want a daycare worker or a child a year or two older to become the role model for my kid. I want my kids to know all the little stuff -- how to choose fruit at the grocery, how to plant a garden, how to give of their time; things they learn from you just by being with you. It's tough if you HAVE to work, but when you're not at work, BE with your kid. Don't pass them off like a burden you can be more efficient without. And, yes, I did hold my baby skin to skin as often as possible before he became mobile. Couldn't much with twins the second time, though.

    Answer by cutiemoose at 5:32 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • I didn't refuse to become a working mom. WHen we have needed money, I have worked either out of the home or in the home. I choose to stay home with my kids because we can afford it, and because my DD is only 5 and she is just in half day kindergarten. when she starts school full time next year I will be doing some online college courses, but no hurry to get back to "work" (I use the term loosely because I DO everything I have to do at home), because I want to be there for their field trips, to volunteer in classrooms when they need it, to be home for them when they are sick and when they have days off school. I think if a person can afford to be a SAHM then yes, having their kids with them is much better than sending them out to daycare BUT also that if a mom WANTS to work, nobody should judge her about that either. I think we try to do the best we can for our own families, but not everyone agrees with everyone else.

    Answer by AprilDJC at 5:32 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • I became a sahm because I didn't like the idea of sending my son to daycare to be raised by someone else. I see what you are saying as far as the psychology of the idea, but I think its more of a biological urge to raise your child in your image than an urge to "keep them close". A person has children, biologically, to continue their genes into the next generation. But with so much of a person's life being dependant on "nurture" as opposed to "nature", it only makes sense that a person would want to be the one to teach their child things, help them become adults, and use themselves as the model for this, rather than someone else who is just doing it for the money.
    That said, however, interesting thought process you've got going on. I don't, however, like your title. It is pretty inflammatory.

    Answer by Iskkra at 5:34 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • One of the reasons you listed was true for me. I refused to let anyone else watch my child(ren) to keep her close to me because we were new to a big city and did not know anyone or trust anyone. My husband was good at making the money and I was a good mommy. Great.

    Answer by 3gigglemonsters at 5:36 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • I had huge, fat babies, but I didn't want to hand them off to someone else. It just seemed like the most important part of my life- why would I let someone else do it, since I was fortunate enough to have a choice. I did/do want to keep them close!

    Answer by Hazelnutkin at 5:39 PM on May. 13, 2010