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would you let one of your kids move out to keep the rest of them?

If you have a child that makes things up when they don't get there way. and it goes so far as them claiming you abuse them, because you told them NO. would you let them move in with their grandmother like they want. so you don't run the risk of losing all your kids.

or would you keep refusing to let them move out, and tough it out through their lies, and keep ighting the system to keep all your kids even though you know you have done nothing wrong.

oh and the one doing the lying is 10 years old. which has also put your dh's job at risk, because of the type job he holds.


Asked by Anonymous at 8:14 PM on May. 13, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • "CPS won't take your kids unless they have solid proof that there is abuse going on.."
    This is not entirely true.. As a foster parent, I have seen children by good parents removed because of inadequate investigation on the part of the social worker.. Social workers are overworked, underpaid, and undertrained.. I have seen kids removed because of lies told by neighbors, lies told by other children, and lies from ex-spouses.. In turn, I have seen children returned to crack heads and prostitutes.. Whatever the social worker can do to get that case off their desk so they can move on to the next one..
    I am sorry that I don't have any advice to give you about your child, but please don't put 100% faith in the ability of the system.. they make mistakes.. A lot of mistakes..

    Answer by Ren_Ren at 3:45 PM on May. 17, 2010

  • What I don't understand here is how one runs the risk of losing all of them?? Do you need to worry about CPS coming out?? How does it affect dad's job?? Seriously this kid needs therapy and discipline that is what I would give them. If you can't control them I don't think grandma would be able to deal either. But unless their claims of abuse are valid, you need not worry about what child protective services would do. In fact they may help you find an appropriate placement.

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 8:22 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • Mine would not be allowed to move!!!

    That child would get the biggest spanking and be grounded for months.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:23 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • i am not sure what i would do in your situation.... is there any kind of counseling that you and your child can go to for help?? there is obviously something going on... maybe it is more than just lying....
    my sister is a pathological liar, at one point she accused my brother of molesting her, mostly her lies where about herself... she told people she was blind in one eye and deaf in one ear.... she convinced a dr she was hearing voices and he labeled her schizophrenic ... she is 33 years old now and has two children that listen to her lies... i believe she has found the help she needs in her NA and AA groups and the church she attends....
    i am not sure if any type of early intervention would have helped my sister... my mother was doing all that should could with the resources she had at the time...
    i never once believed that my sister got up in the morning and thought "hey i am going to lie to everybody today"

    Answer by chiana at 8:31 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • Does he play the abuse thing because he doesn't get his way? Does he only want to go to grandma's because she'll let him do whatever he wants? Don't let him win! Take away his privileges!

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:32 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • I think I would look for a mental hospital to figure out what's wrong with her. Not to scare you but my 12 year old niece is in the hospital for the 2nd time this year with psychosis. She hears crazy voices that say the meanest things to her and tell her to hurt herself. Her symptoms started about 9-10 years of age with horrific off the wall lies, and mood swings.

    Of course that's probably not what's wrong with your daughter but it could be some sort of mental illness she needs help for. GL


    Answer by Anonymous at 8:37 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • cont....
    she just couldn't help herself.... she never meant to hurt her family with all her lies, i believe she is sick and cannot control herself, though maybe with the groups she is in today she can find the help she needs....
    but again i do not think she even knows she is lying... i mean she believes herself...
    good luck with you and your family....


    Answer by chiana at 8:39 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • Have you been seeing a family therapist?

    Answer by rkoloms at 9:04 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • CPS won't take your kids unless they have solid proof that there is abuse going on. If your 10 yr old is making up lies that they are abused, that is what you tell CPS if they come to investigate, and when they find no bruises or scratches on your child, and no proof of sexual abuse, they will close their investigation. Your child needs big time discipline and letting him move out to live with grandma is exactly what he wants.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:02 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • your son can make up all the lies he wants, but where is this coming from...thats what you need to figure out and try to resolve it before you take that action. But yes, I am sorry to say if cps got in to your life because of it then maybe he does need to go to live with his grandparents, maybe that will smarten him up. I would also tell him go ahead call the police, tell them I am beating you...would you like me to dial 911, I told my son that one day and he looked at me like I was crazy. These kids now a days think they can threaten their parents all the time. Ya right. But like I said if you care about him as being your child, try and get him help..if not its not worth loosing your other kids. It might hurt, but he isnt the only one you have to think about, and besides cps has to prove it. so dont just give up, thats your son.

    Answer by bellamommyof4 at 11:30 PM on May. 13, 2010