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I am so frustrated and I need advice...

ok... so my BF and I have been together for 8 months now... in every relationship I have ever seen the first year is suppose to be completely amazing and care free right? So when we first got together we were having sex... then we decided it was the right thing to stop so we could get to know each other better... That was probably the biggest mistake of my life. It feels like he hardly ever wants me now... I keep getting so frustrated and I don't know what to do. I love him and it isn't just about the sex.. I know this! But in the past 2 weeks my dd has been away at her dads... I still have a week before she comes home.. you would think it would be a time for us to spend together b/c when my dd is here we don't get that time... but he is in the other room right now playing a game. SERIOUSLY???! is there something wrong with me?! Am I not sexy enough???! I don't get it!! Do any of you have any tips to make him want me... or jus

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Coastiegirl96

Asked by Coastiegirl96 at 9:45 PM on May. 13, 2010 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • it could be time to move on.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:49 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • Guys need sex to be close, women need emotional intimacy to be close. You not only took a step back in your relationship but you also took something important that he needs to connect with you. I say go into the other room and jump him! lol Or seduce him, whatever you prefer. But unless you can get him into bed I say move on. You guys took a wrong turn and killed the romance.
    coralbeth

    Answer by coralbeth at 9:52 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • He was the one who brought up not having sex so we could get to know each other.. which was fine..whatever. I just figured it would make him want me more and I WAS SOOOO WRONG! I put a lot of pressure on the situation when he moved in.. I told him there was no way he was going to live here and us not have sex. I love him very much so I am trying to find ways to work around this...
    Coastiegirl96

    Answer by Coastiegirl96 at 10:08 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • It's not you. It seems like when sex comes easy, they don't want it. They say they want you to initiate sex, but they really want to be the pursuer.Maybe, go in in a sexy outfit and ask him if he wants you to play the game with him. If that doesn't work, not to be playing games but, maybe talk with one of your girlfriends like she's telling you what some guy did for her and be like, he did what,aw that's cool, or thats sexy. He'll be interested in what you were talking about and maybe try to out do what you saID THIS MAN DID FOR YOUR FRIEND. mAKE HIM THINK HE HAS COMPETTITION,THEN HE'LL TRY TO DO BETTER. JUST A THOUGHT. Sorry about the lettering, computer acting up.
    mrs2323

    Answer by mrs2323 at 10:38 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • Why do you want to stay w/ him???

    You guys stopped having sex, to get to know eachother - a really, really, good idea!!!(not being sarcastic) - and you found out you were not that compatible.
    ...so you lick your wounds, move on, and be greatful you know now, so you don't end up w/ 2 ex's.
    Nynne

    Answer by Nynne at 10:38 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • He's just very comfortable with you. I learned that watching a show called Black Men Revealed. All the men commented on how women fear that once the relationship gets that way we are no longer wanted. But they said watching movies or playing games in the separate rooms, etc is not because he doesn't want you but because he loves you and feels very comfortable in the relationship and with you as a person that he doesn't need to be your shadow anymore.

    However, 2 whole free weeks and no wild sex??? Hmmmm not sure.
    Ronique1989

    Answer by Ronique1989 at 11:05 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • i agree with the pp who said u took a mis step. usually its better to get to konw each other first and then hv sex. its hard to redo something thats alrady been done. i would move on.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:22 AM on May. 14, 2010

  • Nynne nailed it. As old fashioned as it sounds, there is a reason you're suposed to get to know each other before jumping in the sack.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:45 AM on May. 14, 2010

  • if he started acting like this when you quit having sex then you dont need him!!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:46 AM on May. 14, 2010

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