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Thinking about leaving SO could use advice...

Im thinking about leaving my SO and our son will be 3 in a few months. I care for my SO but we fight ALOT...To me it is like having another child. He is not a parent role. I found out that he has been lying to me for at least 6 months about him going on porn sites. He hid it for a very long time from me...I even found out he was looking at those sites while supposed to be watching our child. I feel horrible for thinking about leaving him because I know our son will be so upset and sad. What would you do???? And if you are a single mom is it something you regret? We have been together for about 5 years now.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:39 PM on May. 13, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • i would leave him for lying, and for the porn thing too. actually, my sons father, my SO .. looked at porn while i was pregnant, i told him how it made me feel and that i wasnt okay with it, he said he would stop and wouldnt do it again, well he did it again anyway, so i broke up with him, kicked him out, for about 2 months ... after 2 months of him crying and begging, i eventually decided to give him another chance and its been about 5 months now and theres no way he could be looking at porn, because i check everything .. but anyway, if i ever catch him looking at porn again, it is over, done for good, and i will find someone who cares and respects my feelings. but besides that, its not good for you or your son to be in a relationship with alot of fighting and you not being happy. there are alot of single moms out there that do fine, and its not like your going to be single forever.. youll meet someone better. GL <3
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 11:43 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • geez...it's just porn...get over it and stop being so frigid. porn is great. if the worst thing he does is look at porn....then leave the guy alone!
    june_kitten

    Answer by june_kitten at 11:47 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • june kitten, if you dont mind your man watching other women naked have sex with men and giving them head no matter if you told him how much it hurts your feelings or not, then good for you. more important then just the porn, is the disrespect of the other persons feelings.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 11:49 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • ok ladies. this is how i see it. i have never met a man who is completely mature enuff to be a parent. it is all trial and error. as far as the porn thing, i dont get it. what is the big deal with it? i dont consider it cheating at all. its pictures on a screen, no real reason for me to feel insecure about that, ya know? especially if he is still coming to my bed. as far as lying, that might be a deal breaker, but he wouldnt be lying about the porn if he didnt feel like he was going to be attacked for it, either. you have to make the choice, honey. is he lying about other things as well? if not, porn is no big deal. and as long as hes not letting your see it, whats wrong with him watching while the child is in the house? we all need to be more open minded ladies. and yes, i have been a single mother, and dont regret it. i now have a wonderful man, who watches porn, and i dont mind! imagine the possibilities!
    jeanniegirl82

    Answer by jeanniegirl82 at 11:50 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • your needs are not the only ones to consider. maybe that is why your man is watching porn. just sayin....
    june_kitten

    Answer by june_kitten at 11:51 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • Go see an atttorny first. They will give you advice on how to set up your accounts and what exactly to do so you don't get screwed. Don't do anything before you do this.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:53 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • see if its just about porn I would not just up and leave. Yes he lied probably because he knew you would flip out. This is one things some women are like I don't care if they look at porn and others view it as cheating. I feel I am in between. If there are other reasons then yes maybe consider it but talk to him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:54 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • Wait - he's watching porn in full view of your child? and/or neglecting properly watching the kid in order to watch porn instead?

    I'm generally supportive of keeping families in-tact wherever possible, and it would still be nice to have yours stay together, but if your answers are yes to my above questions, then for that to happen, he's going to need professional help - he's not going to be able to stop or be responsible with his viewing on his own.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:57 PM on May. 13, 2010

  • he doesnt respect your feelings. thats the point. i left my first husband because of something similar and after i did i was never happier. i am remarried now and i would hv been miserable if i had stayed. btw, he does same thing to his 2nd wife that annoyed me. some men r just thoughtless and inconsiderate. i dont think he should b watching porn while watching your son.
    if he will not respect u and how u feel then get out while u still can. u r not married so i do think u should c an attorney be4 u do anything.
    u have a very good chance of meeting someone who u will b happy with. i cant believe i stayed as long as i did.
    my husband now is the man of my dreams. u could meet yours too. good luck. it would b better to b alone then to stay with someone who makes u so unhappy. u deserve better and can find it but u have to make the effort.gl
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:04 AM on May. 14, 2010

  • June_kitten: It's not about him watching porn its about him lying about it for so long. And for doing it while he is supposed to be watching our kid.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:05 AM on May. 14, 2010

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