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My in-laws used to hate me...

I have no idea what I did or didn't do to get them to hate me so much. I was really hurt by this and did everything to try to get them to like me-bought presents, gave compliments, babysat for his sister's kids, made sure we always went to visit etc. After years of doing this I stopped and haven't done anything for them. Well apparently now they like me?? MIL has been calling me randomly just to chit chat, in the 10 years I have been with my husband she has never done this. Now the sisters want me to run the 10k with them etc. I'm so confused and now I don't want a relationship with them. I spent so much time and energy in the past and finally came to the conclusion that they don't matter. Am I wrong for being the cold one now? I really don't feel like I should have to forgive them and be BFF's with these people who treated me so poorly in the past.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:17 AM on May. 14, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • It sound like they enjoyed controlling you in the past. Now that they have lost that power they are trying to get you back into that position again, and believe you me, they will start treating you bad again just when you start to trust them and be friendly to them again. They are cowardly people, they had their chance and blew it. Be polite but firm with them, and when your mil calls, just say you are about to go out, and when his sisters ask you to run with them politely decline explaining you simply dont have the time. People tend not to change. They enjoyed making you feel miserable, good on you for turning your back on this group of bullies.
    dayle7

    Answer by dayle7 at 12:26 AM on May. 14, 2010

  • I couldn't agree more with ya. Had they same problem with my SIL and after years of trying... I just gave up. Know she is always trying to find things we can do together or trying to be nice by watching our kids. I say screw anyway..... if you want to do something with them fine.... if not, then don't.

    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 12:19 AM on May. 14, 2010

  • maybe your husband said something with out your knowledge. i was the same way. i feel like im always playing battle of the daughter in laws with my SIL. they love her for some reason and she was a former stripper and coke head! i gave up on trying. now they even treat my son differntly than hers saying "no offense, there just something special abou the first grandchild" (meaning my SIL son). i would just be civil. try to fake it. thats what i doo. then bitch up a storm on the way home. lol that mine and my husbands topic as we are leaving. we agree on it not fight about it tho
    sstokes86

    Answer by sstokes86 at 12:22 AM on May. 14, 2010

  • Wish I knew how to get my in laws to hate me. Same thing with you I have never done anything to them to get them to hate me. Well maybe take MIL 21 yr old son from her. He was such a mamas boy and was still living with her when we met but he always spent all his free time with me and stayed at my place all the time so maybe thats what it is, who knows. I dont try with my in laws if they dont like me I dont care. I still treat them nicely but i refuse to go out of my way or change myself just so they'll like me.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 12:45 AM on May. 14, 2010

  • *to stop hating me is what I meant to say
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 12:45 AM on May. 14, 2010

  • It must be an in-law thing.... My SILs didn't like me when DH and i were dating. I met them at a time when i was confused about the relationship. They were convinced I just didn't like their brother. When they realized it was GOING TO HAPPEN, they started acting nice, but it just felt fake to me. Now they try to pretend they always liked me, and I find it dishonest. I want to be friends with them, but I think this is the issue: Because we have never resolved the issues from the past, we will never be close and I will never trust them like family. It sounds to me like that's what happening in your case, too. The only way to build a real relationship is to develop trust, and that can't happen when people sweet history under the rug. Good luck!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:08 AM on May. 14, 2010