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Im not sure how to put this or what category it should be in. HELP please

My 14 year old lets people degrade her constantly. She doesn't listen to me about standing up for herself. She want's to stay in with the "Cool" crowd, So she lets them call her names and degrade her. Almost like "You can call me names as long as youre still my friend"... It seems like an act of desperation to do that! Where do I take her to get help not to do that anymore? She cries about it and doesnt like it but she keeps doing it.... Like an addiction. Its really strange. HELP please Im at my wits end and don't know what to do anymore.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:03 AM on May. 14, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (7)
  • A therapist...she's got self-esteem issues that need working on.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:09 AM on May. 14, 2010

  • Take her out of school and homeschool her?

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:14 AM on May. 14, 2010

  • well first, I don't think posting the same question several times in different words is going to help you more, and second she needs to see a psychologist or maybe even a psychiatrist if she needs medication for depression.
    flaggot13

    Answer by flaggot13 at 3:18 AM on May. 14, 2010

  • i would get her into couseling. she needs to be up lifted. and give her a hug and tell her you love her every chance you get.
    Preggydyke

    Answer by Preggydyke at 3:25 AM on May. 14, 2010

  • I'd enroll her in some sort of teen program where they do something that she is interested in like a bike tour, or a youth group that goes on mission trips, or a sleep away summer camp. Find an activity for her that will allow her to make new friends in a different setting away from these other kids while at the same time building up her self esteem. Some place where she can be challanged and come out successful and meet kids who are kinder and more supportive. Where do you live? There are some great camps in Maine and New Hampshire. If camp is too expensive then at least try to get her into a new activity that is outside of the school like horseback riding, karate, photography, painting, whatever interests her.

    I think exposing her to more people and activities will go a long way for her. You are right to be worried, she needs to grow emotionally past this before she becomes a victim of something more serious.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 7:26 AM on May. 14, 2010

  • What activities is she involved in after school? Volunteer work and babysitting (call the Red Cross for a certification class) will go a long way towards building self esteem. A few visits with a therapist will probably also help.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 8:06 AM on May. 14, 2010

  • A therapist...she's got self-esteem issues that need working on.

    I totally agree. Self-esteem problems are not uncommon in teens. Peer presure is a fearsome thing. I would at least look into some excersices to help her work on this area of her personality.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 9:52 AM on May. 14, 2010

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