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What are your reasons for spanking...

i posted a question about my two year old and her refusing time out and was asking advice on what works for other moms and one person said to slap my child on the leg when she hits me. Is that not just going to make her think if she hits me she is going to get hit. A two year old has no way to understand why a mother is hitting them. It seems really said to know that parents hit there toddlers. Well the question is if you spank your child why do you think this works? Have you ever thought about what you child thinks and why there mom is hurting them? Why do you think inflicting pain is going to make you child mind you?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:57 AM on May. 14, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (15)
  • I've asked similar questions and there has been no one on cm that thinks there is anything wrong with spanking, popping, slapping, hitting, ect. their kids.


    Time-outs aren't effective at stopping bad behavior or teaching good behavior. The book Love & Limits by Elizabeth Crary is good. She has a website called star parenting.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 4:06 AM on May. 14, 2010

  • You say no one on here thinks there is anything wrong with hitting your kids. I beg to differ i have seen lots that oppose.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:10 AM on May. 14, 2010

  • Because it is very effective for a lot of kids. Most parents tend to go with "what works" for their family. What works for mine, might not work for yours, and vise versa. Personally, I could care less what disipline method you. (unless of course you are abusive, and thats not cool!)


    Find what works for your child and go with it.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:10 AM on May. 14, 2010

  • have read the book 1-2-3 magic and tried it with my 2 yr old and it does work for us!! of course i tweaked it here and there to make it work and there was ALOT of time away or time outs in the beginning and i would have to put her in her crib... but for now it is working... i started it because she was hitting me alot and i did pop her behind once and felt horrible and it made me think what message am i sending her?? that violence solves violence???
    i was spanked by my mom and beat by my father... they even had a horse's ridding crop... (the thing that jockeys use) and they hit me with that and it hurt and the feelings that followed where not easy for a young child and young teen to handle.... i did not want to be that parent... i was so afraid of becoming that parent because that was what i was taught.. but i will not be that parent!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:49 AM on May. 14, 2010

  • I do this right now, i pop his hand of the back of his thigh, he is 21 months. I do it because he is too young for time out when I can put him in time out and talk to him when it is time to get out and explain what he did why its wrong ect. and him actually understand and be able to talk with me about then i will start time outs. Just like when he gets past a certain age time outs will go out the window and I will start taking privalages away.
    I "spank" my son to show him there is a negatvie effect to what he is doing, I don't him hard just enough to get his attention and I reinforce it with a firm no. I understand if this method is not for you but why judge other parents for what they do just because it's not how you do things. As long as the child isn't being beat leave other parents alone.
    mrsbean08

    Answer by mrsbean08 at 8:04 AM on May. 14, 2010

  • spankings are a last reosrt in my house. If time outs and taking things away don't get results than a quick swat on the butt does. I don't beat my children and I don't spank in anger. But seriously the 4t h time they are asked to correct the same behavior in a day and nothing else works they get one. I have maybe spanked my 4 yo 2-3 times in her life. As for the teens well the removal of the old cell phone equates to a death sentence in this house and much more effective. Time outs don't work well for a strong willed child and I think if a spanking is your only form of punishment than maybe as a parent you need to step back and figure out where your failing.
    pagirl71

    Answer by pagirl71 at 8:28 AM on May. 14, 2010

  • At two years old, if you punish your child by spanking or whatever method they know why they are getting punished. They are not dumb. I am on my 5th "terrible toddler" and I start popping them around 12 months. My kids get told no one time if they do it again they will get a spanking. I don't give a bunch of chances and my kids know that. Spanking is not my only form of punishment. Time out works well especially when they have to hold their arms out while in time out. I was spanked as a child and so was hubby. Do what works for your child and change it up when you notice the punishment isn't as effective. Feel free to disagree! :)
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 9:18 AM on May. 14, 2010

  • We have spanked on a couple occasions. Mostly, we spank if she breaks a major rule, one that will get her hurt or worse, like pulling away and trying to run in a parking lot, trying to get away from me in a store, or something like that. She has only been spanked three times in her life, almost two years ago, once in a grocery store parking lot, once in walmart after getting upset after being told no toys, and trying to run to the toy aisle, and once after no other punishment worked. Now, we just say we're going to count to three, and when we get there, there will be punishment, and she stops the behavior before we get to two. And we haven't had to do that in almost two years. If your child knows what you expect of them, they will behave within those expectations. Kiwi knows the rules of the house, parking lot, car, store, ect.., knows what happens when she breaks them, and behaves, no problem.
    Kiwismommy19

    Answer by Kiwismommy19 at 10:28 AM on May. 14, 2010

  • Your child hits you because you are a punk ass parent and your child knows it. Just as she knows that she can disrespect you and get away with it. Just my opinion. For many generations my family has spanked our kids and still do when they are adults and they cross the line. Why because we are not punk ass parents nor do we believe in rewarding our kids for misbehavior. I'm not applauding abuse because there's a complete difference between spanking and abuse. Try popping your kid on the hand or butt next time she decides she's hard enough to hit you. And please stop underestimating your kids. Kids are so much smarter, intelligent and contain a lot more common sense these days.
    Ronique1989

    Answer by Ronique1989 at 11:16 AM on May. 14, 2010

  • My DD NEVER has hit me. She is not violent, the only time she has EVER hurt anyone is when she plays with her brothers. Their 9 1/2 and she's 2 1/2 so when they wrestle she wants to get in and will pull hair all that because they do it and their playing. I spank because I mean business!!!! She knows it. She knows that children DO NOT HIT. Momma and Daddy WILL give her a spanking if needed and she is always warned! I will tell her if she doesn't stop doing whatever it is she is doing she will get a spanking! I always use an open hand on her butt or hand. It works for us!

    delilahsmom1177

    Answer by delilahsmom1177 at 12:01 PM on May. 14, 2010

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