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Why do so many people seem to think that the *mother* is the ONLY one who can raise the child(ren)?

Every day, us moms who have to work to earn a paycheck are often accused of "not raising our own children" or "having someone else raise our kids for us".

Can FATHERS not have a hand in raising the child(ren)?
Can GRANDPARENTS not have a hand in raising the child(ren)?
Can other TRUSTED MEMBERS OF THE COMMUNITY not have a hand in raising the child(ren)?

Does it not "take a village to raise a child"?

Why do some feel that the MOTHER is the one and only person who can care for a child?


Asked by Anonymous at 11:45 AM on May. 14, 2010 in Just for Fun

This question is closed.
Answers (23)
  • Well OP it is definitely a DOUBLE STANDARD when some say only a MOM should be HOME with her kids. It is a DOUBLE STANDARD when the working MOM gets flack, but never the working father. It does take a village to raise a child.

    My DH and I raise our DD. She is also influenced by her grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, peers, teachers, etc. etc. etc. Unless I shelter her form the outside world, the "village" will have influence. That is OKAY with me. :) :)


    Answer by Anonymous at 12:15 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • well i am a sham and i don't think i'm the only one who can care for my kids, i just think i'm the best person for the job

    Answer by josiesmommy00 at 11:47 AM on May. 14, 2010

  • well for the first year I was the only one who could breastfeed them but my husband plays a HUGE role in raising our children.

    Answer by laciD at 11:48 AM on May. 14, 2010

  • I don't think so and I don't know anyone who does think that way......Moms aren't the only ones. How did that occur to you? DO you know any Moms who say that?

    Answer by gertie41 at 11:48 AM on May. 14, 2010

  • Sounds like SAHM with inferiority complexes. I'm SAHM, but I've worked. You can do either, and still be a supermomma. Some women feel threatened when you can raise kids and make money at the same time. It's an insecurity. Not to mention, some (only some) SAHMs have kids that have no social lives because their kiddos don't talk to any other adults outside of their immediate family. It's isn't healthy at all. Daycares have a lot of benifits. My kids love people cause they go to 3 church services a week, and they get a lot of time to meet new friends. ...sorry i trailed off again. Anyway, honey, don't worry about women who like to use other mommas a step stool to reach their self made pedastal...they're just tacky heiffers, lol.

    Answer by LisaG777 at 11:51 AM on May. 14, 2010

  • My DH would love to be a SAHD. He always tells me how jealous he is.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:51 AM on May. 14, 2010

  • I think some people get a little over the top with their opinions. I do not feel this way at all and there are plenty of others who don't. To the mothers who DO feel this way, then kudos to them, which is probably what they are looking for in the first place.. to be praised and bowed down to lol

    Answer by Ctink8189 at 11:58 AM on May. 14, 2010

  • I agree with you on every level.. I was the one who got the kids up and dressed and took them to daycare. My ex was still asleep in bed. The problem I have with this, is the fact that ex would always forget something when he was in charge in the am to get them to daycare. It used to rattle my nerves. The only reason I thought I was better at it is b/c I had developed a system. Everything went like clock work. When he took over, he turned into a crazy person and sometimes the kids would end up crying by the time they got to daycare. I have a pic of dd from 3rd grade. Dad took them to school that day, and dd/s eyes are swollen in the pic from crying. Oh yes, good times, good times

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:58 AM on May. 14, 2010

  • I don't think that only a mother can raise a child. I just think that a mother should be the MAIN one raising her child, if possible. I'm not putting down working moms bc most of them are the one still primarily raising their child. I choose to stay at home bc I don't want "a village" raising my child. Sure, he interacts with lots of other people, but he's almost always with me. When he starts school, the teachers will be helping, and that's something I'll deal with. I think what people have a problem with are the mothers who never spend any time with their children on purpose, and I have known women like that.

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 11:58 AM on May. 14, 2010

  • i dont think that..i know my mom has helped me out tons!!!! shes the one that babysits for me when i have to go to work. shes the one that drives me to go grocery shopping to buy food for my daughter and i. or drives to swiming lessons...and comes with us to lil events that i take my dd to..picks her up from school if im mom and i have pretty much shared raising my daughter equally...and not because i dont want to, because i have to work (single mom), i owe a lot to my mom because of all shes done for us, i wish i didnt need her help, i wish i could let her enjoy her retirement, but, i dont have any other options. at the same time, she loooves being a grandma, so she doesnt mind, she knows at the end of the day she sends her back home with me, i dont use my mom for a babysitter so i can go out with friends/party no, "moms" arent the only ones that rasie kids..grandmas are extremely important too!! :)

    Answer by alexis_06 at 11:59 AM on May. 14, 2010