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As a single mom any suggestions on explaining to your 8 yo daughter your having major surgery w/o scaring her?

I want her to know that I will be gone of course for a while in the hospital, which she will visit, and be with family during the rcovery time roughly a little over a month.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:35 PM on May. 14, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (6)
  • Be very matter-of-fact with her. Tell her what's wrong, and explain what they will be doing, and what she can expect to see the first time she visits you, like the various ivs, wires, monitors, and such. She will most likely be scared regardless of what you say, even as an adult, if my mom told me this, I would be afraid for her. Let her talk about her fears, let her research and look up what you are having done. The more information she has, the more secure she will feel. Good luck.
    Kiwismommy19

    Answer by Kiwismommy19 at 12:39 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • Explain to her calmly and rationally what the surgery is for and how long you'll be in the hospital for.
    Let her know that doctors do surgery all of the time and that the surgery is to make you better.
    Let her know that you know that it's a little scary for her and that you'll probably look a little rough afterward and be in some pain but that it's totally normal.

    Be honest with her without being too graphic.
    Kids are tougher than most people give them credit for. They just want honesty and respect, just like anyone else.

    If she sees that you are calm and relaxed about it then she will feel more at ease as well.
    Laila-May

    Answer by Laila-May at 12:40 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • My daughter is going tomorrow for a tour at the hospital where they explain everything that is going on and show the children how the hospital works so they won't be so anxious. Does your hospital have any programs like that? Our hospital also has a library with children's books about these kind of things. Maybe call the hospital and find out what kind of resources they have.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:49 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • Be short and matter of fact. She doesn't need details. Just tell her you're going to the dr and staying in the hospital, who she'll be staying with, and for how long. She'll be fine. GL!
    Luvmylilmonkies

    Answer by Luvmylilmonkies at 12:54 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • i would just say that you are going to the hospital where they are going to give you a surgery that will help make you better. tell her how long you will be gone, that she can call/visit, whatever is needed. dont make it out like its a HUGE thing or that you are "really" sick. my SD's BM was very dramatic when she was sick last summer with female issues....so that finally the kids were all worried sick about her and when she had her surgery and all that. now because i didn't dramatize having surgery or being sick, they pretty much cared less when i had my gall bladder out.
    aly38914290

    Answer by aly38914290 at 9:31 PM on May. 16, 2010

  • Prep her as much as you can by explaing to her that mommy is sick and going to to hospital to get better. I recently was hospitalized unexpectedly for 19 days and my 7 year old had a horrific time with being away from me as I am also a single mom. Although he came to visit me often, you must be prepared for her to react with tears and or fear. After the hospital I too, was at my parents recuperting for about 2 weeks along with my son, before we were able to come home. He was VERY CLINGY for about 2 months afterward and still to this day asks me if I am going to go back to the hospital if he hears me sniffle or cough. If you daughter is in school with a counselor available I highly recommend you letting the counselor know so that they too can prep her for your upcoming sugery. Offer plenty of hugs and kissed and constantly reassure her that you are ok. Best of luck on your surgery,
    mimintony

    Answer by mimintony at 9:57 PM on May. 20, 2010

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