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How to get over 'being the bad mom' slump?

Recently during the day ive just been in this slump & i feel so guilty.. This last week DD has just been irritating me (not on purpose) & Ive been quick with her.. I dont feel like coloring, or playing in the sand. I dont want to paint, or read..
This week for the first time Im wishing we could afford some pre-school or something to have some space..
(she is 3.5).
Why am I being the "bad mom" and how the hell do i get over it..
(Im also tired of waking up to a messy house that i just cleaned yesterday. Its the same stuff daily. IDK how how it gets messy!)
I kinda feel like Im PMSing, yet I know im not!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:42 PM on May. 14, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • You might be depressed. Are you really hard on yourself? Instead of saying, "I'll have to try to do a better job being patient tomorrow", do you say, "I am such a horrible mother!"? You may want to talk with your doctor about it. I was feeling that way and I ended up starting on an SSRI antidepressant. I feel that I am less irritable now and don't overreact quite as much. I know what you mean about the house. I absolutely hate clutter and messes. The worst part is that my husband is a messy. That's actually an understatement - you could even call him a hoarder. Just looking around the house stresses me out, and I get upset walking into our garage (which I haven't been able to park in for several years). Hang in there, and think about what I said. There is no shame in taking something if it will improve the quality of life for your family.
    Iamgr8teful

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 9:19 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • I think you hit the nail on the head here. Its the constant day to day grind that gets to us. How bout the library? Sometimes they have story telling there in the childrens dept. You could sit close and read a new magazine. How bout a sack lunch at the park. Dd can go play on the play stuff and you can catch a break. She needs to get out energy and you need to get out of this slump. Turn certain events into certain weekly rituals so you guys can get some fresh air. Who knows, maybe you will meet some other moms who feel like you do. Good luck
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:49 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • Do you have a good headstart program in your area? It is free preschool...but be careful to do your homework on it..it is great in some areas and not so great in others. You are in a rut, this too shall pass. Shake things up a bit, do or go somewhere totally different.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 2:09 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • Gosh I know how you feel, my hubby is working a crazy schedule right now so it seems like all I do is work (part time) clean, cook, do laundry and constantly clean on my days off and after work, I just need a break before I lose my mind. My 18 month old is pretty easy all he needs is to eat and play toys now the four year old is not satisfied no matter what I do, I agree with the anon 1:49, I don't really have the time or the energy to go anywhere with them, I have a huge backyard and tons of toys still he is not satisfied, so I bought him some molding clay ($0.98 at walmart) and sit him in the high chair (so he can be on one spot and not make a mess with it) and it keeps him busy for hours he only stops to take a bathroom break or eat a snack then back to molding and using his imagination, you can try molding clay or play dough with your DD that way you can have some time for yourself while she is busy doing her thing.

    looovemybabies

    Answer by looovemybabies at 2:16 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • OP here -
    We do get out every day. She goes outside & plays on her swing set, I read (I just dont want to get up & interact like I should- helping her swing, or play in the sand)... Or when Dh gets home we all swim together, go on walks together, bike..

    From 7am - 4pm I just feel like a really bad mom recently. It may have something to do with she use to have a friend to play with during the day (i babysat) but now its rare we see him. so until i decide to leave the house she only has me...

    But I do hate this daily grind thing. If the darn house would be OK I might feel better about playing, maybe...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:01 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • It's not a bad mom thing. It's good for the kid to have you interact with her, but she doesn't need it constantly. Kiwi is 5 now, but even when she was younger, she had solo play time. Art stuff, coloring books, dolls, other toys. Try finding other parent's in your area with kids your age and trade off sometimes. There are bound to be other stay at home moms who would love to have a free day while you keep their kid, and the other way around. Don't beat yourself up over it, unless you're completely ignoring her all day, she'll be fine occupying herself for an hour or two a day.
    Kiwismommy19

    Answer by Kiwismommy19 at 3:42 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • Find a friend to trade babysitting hours with.
    Find a mom's group in your area to meet up with (on here or MeetUp.com).
    Can you ask your DH for help with the housework to get a bit of a break now & then?
    Also, what can you do for YOU every so often? Like a mani/pedi, a hobby, etc.
    emslala

    Answer by emslala at 2:57 AM on May. 15, 2010

  • Ive posted alot of different questions over the last few months.. and no matter the question, people always point out i may be depressed.. I believe it, id LOVE to see a psychologist but we dont have the money. we just got word DH may be laid off. I wouldnt want insurance to cover it b/c for insurance to cover it you have to be diagnosed with something... i dont want it on my record!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:24 PM on May. 18, 2010

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