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I am having a homebirth in 2 weeks and freaking out please advise and encourage

My husband and I are planning a homebirth. we have been planning this for, well, 9 months, and all of the sudden I am freaking out. I am to embarrassed to tell my midwife or my husband. I am so concerned I cant handle the pain and all that mumbo jumbo I have been telling myself - my body can do this, it's a natural process, millions of women have done it before you - is all going out the window with fear. Anyone who has had homebirth or natural delivery with advice and calming words of affirmation.

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:11 PM on May. 14, 2010 in Pregnancy

Answers (21)
  • No home birth, but I had both of mine completely naturally at the hospital, and I can tell you that you can do it. You will be fine. Dont let the fear take over or it will make it much more difficult. Talk to your husband and midwife about it, you are completelly normal for feeling this way, and talking about it, and learning more what you can do is the best way to handle it. I know even before the birth of my second I was terrified, even though I knew I could do it. Its going to be painful, but you are a strong woman and you can push past it. Good luck, and just talk to them, they will understand.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:20 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • Hon, TALK to your midwife- that's what her job is, to let you know that you're safe, and well cared for. You need not be embarrassed, she'll help you figure out whats really going on, and how to cope with it.

    All 3 of my babies were unmedicated births, and I labored at home with them all 2 of the 3 were born in a hospital- my longest stay before baby was birthed was less than 2 hours (out of a 42 hour labor).
    I had my dd when I was 16, labored without drugs for 36 hours, and pushed 3 times to birth a beautiful, almost 8 1/2 lb baby!
    my3 rd child's labor was soooo long, and I was tired, I'll not lie. He was born after almost 8 days of labor, with very slow progression, and his birth was the easiest, most relaxed, amazing... He was a water baby, and born @ a local birth center (I could not trust my abusive ex, or it would have been a HB)... Look, if you wanna talk, PM me. It really is OK to have fear & doubts.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 2:22 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • I was 19 when I had my son. I had a 7 hour hospital birth(only because I didn't know about homebirth), I refused all tries to give me pain meds. I had him after 3 hurt, but, I was more scared of that huge freakin' epi needle. LOL I kept telling myself..I CAN DO THIS!!!! And I did.

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 2:28 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • Even though fear is creeping in here, dont let it take you over. Your mid-wife and hubby are part of your homebirth team. Lean on them now for support. Its ok to be scared. its ok to have fear and you dont have to go through this alone.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:32 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • Why would you do this? What is the point? Isn't your health & the babies health of the utmost importance? TALK to your Husband ASAP and do what YOU want. It is your for your Health & the Babies. Go to the Hospital for this. We are not living in a remote part of Africa here. You never know what can go wrong. My Son was born in the hospital & I was induced since I went a few days past my due date and as soon as I felt contractions they gave me an epidural which I did not even feel. My Son was born in 5 easy almost painfree pushes. Done!! Healthy Baby, Healthy Mom! Piece of Cake. Why do you feel the need to suffer? Believe me you are not going to be given a medal for this. No one will even care if you tell them. Sorry to be so blunt but I CANNOT see the need to go through UNNECESSARY Pain.


    Answer by Anonymous at 2:33 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • i don't know...when people say millions of women have given birth before...well, i wondered why i only went to 4cm after 16 hours of labor with my first and 6cm after 5 DAYS of trying a VBAC with my second child. had unwanted but i believe necessary c-sections because my body was just not made to give birth vaginally. my husband and i are convinced if it was 100 years ago, i would have died trying to give birth. so to each their own. good luck to you though. don't want to scare you. everyone is different. hope your labor and delivery goes much more smooth than my did. here's wishing you a safe homebirth. take care and congrats!

    Answer by Katie80620 at 2:43 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • 1. IGNORE all the negative comments! Those comments do nothing but scare you, its not moving your forward at all by reading them.
    2. Talk to your mid-wife. Im sure she has heard it before! It is normal right at the end of pregnancy to want it over asap, yet be scared to go through with it.. It is normal, your about to do something new. Not only are you fearing the unknown of L&D, but you may also have some anxiety about having a new baby. Its all normal hun! We have all had the fears.
    3. Read all you can about success stories! It will help calm your fears.
    4. Do you trust your mid-wife, work on your relationship with her. That is important to relax! If your body does not feel safe it may not feel right about giving birth. Believe in yourself!
    5. Try to remember why you didnt chose hospital. Stuck in a bed, drs. nurses invading your space, ect. Your Midwife will know the signs if u need hosp. care!
    Good Luck. 'Congrats

    Answer by MommaTasha1003 at 2:53 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • anon :33... STFU!!! I personally am against homebirths as well but I am also for women having the type of delivery that they want to have! She is not asking for us to tell her to not have a homebirth, its actually quite the opposite. She is asking for us to encourage her to go thru with what she has wanted for 8 months and to not let a few weeks of fear change her mind!!

    OP... You can do it!! I personally love the epi but I also know that our bodies are programmed to know exactly what to do in labor and you will be FINE!! Yes it will hurt like hell, but who really cares? The second you are holding that new life in your arms, all the pain is seriously thrown out the window! I too would encourage you to talk to your midwife, I am sure its totally normal to start to get scared at this point and she willl be the best one to give you the words of advice that you need

    Answer by Jaydin_Makenna at 3:05 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • Anon :33, yes, her health and babies health is of the UTMOST importance, which is why she probably chose a homebirth. It's proven that less medical interventions equal a healthier mom and baby. Besides, she said ADVISE and ENCOURAGE. Not tell her that YOU think she's wrong. No, she won't win a medal, but what she'll gain on the inside, the pride in herself and her body and baby is far more than any medal could show.

    OP: Advice: Speak to your midwife. She's there to help. I'm sure your fears are nothing new to her. She'll help you relax, and diminish your fears. Encouragement: YOU CAN DO THIS! Your body was made for this. Yes, pain sucks, but your DH and midwife will give you the tools and outlets you need to successfully manage your pain, and ease your way through labor. GL mama, you'll be just fine!

    Answer by milfalicious08 at 3:10 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • BTW anon, it is statistically safer to have a home birth- so, you can STFU. Hospitals are not for birth, they are for illness and death.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 3:11 PM on May. 14, 2010

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