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What is the approriate way to communicate with your SO?

I yell and I would like to know if there is a proper way to talk things out when I have a problem. I know to wait till the anger clears and then approach him calmly at an appropriate time.

Do you start out with your feelings and why they are hurt?
Do you start out bluntly to be real about the situation?
Is it best to meditate on the problem for a few days then discuss with SO? Because sometimes I am busy being mom and Im blinded by anger that I cant pinpoint the problem.

I really need lots of work. Thank you.



Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:36 PM on May. 14, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Ihave the same problem but i think that men dont like the smart women who can talk especialy when they r right. eventhough, i m aware of this fact i can t keep my mouth shut every time i say that the next time i ll react smoothly and calmly but never happens. For u Q, the best way to communicate with ur SO is to not communicate. the real Q here is: is this best way doable or not?
    Imane1215

    Answer by Imane1215 at 2:43 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • When I get mad at him I shift my thoughts to seeing him sexually, it immediately makes my anger go away.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:48 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • for me/us: i write down the things that he does that makes me mad. later on, i go back and see if i'm still mad/hurt about it and why. if its something major, then i'll sit down with him and talk to him about these events and how it made me feel. our latest fight- about 4 months ago- he kept coming over really late, but saying he'd be there like 3-4 hours before he really got in.. after 3 times of him doing that, i sat him down, told him that since he keeps coming in late, i feel that i'm not worth his time (he was with his friends those times- which he also sees during the day), and that if he was gonna stay out later, i'd appreciate a phone call to either cancel or let me know he'll be late. he's been good about it sicne then and we really dont have any major problems/fights.
    Shy_Dia

    Answer by Shy_Dia at 3:19 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • My SO is military and won't listen or read anything that is long and to him, boring. I have learned that I do have to think long and hard over what i want to say and I have to make my point in a very few seconds or sentences so I stick to the point. I write it all down in a text doc to get it all out of my system then go back and highlight what is vital that I communicate to him. Condensing that down isn't always easy but I have to make choices. One time I had to get two pages of what I started out thinking was important down to an IM length paragraph! It takes some doing but we wordy women can do it. Practice makes perfect so now I can get through to him pretty fast!
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:01 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • The first thing I usually do is open my mouth. And talk to him. I do not really worry about how I talk to my DH. I just talk to him. If I have something on my mind I just say something to him. And we talk. I am not afraid of my DH. We talk about everything.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 5:58 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • I remind myself that I love my husband dearly and he simply does not deserve my anger.. If you truly love this man, he is worthy of your consideration, kindness, and respect.. Just saying "I am a busy mom" is no excuse, and your husband does not deserve to bear the brunt of your anger.. If you can not control it or pinpoint what is causing your anger, then get help..
    Ren_Ren

    Answer by Ren_Ren at 6:39 PM on May. 14, 2010

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