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What do you think of moms who enforce "beauty" on their daughters who are no older than seven to nine years old?

It seems like the pressure to be beautiful is affecting girls at a younger age these days. Self-esteem is an issue that most girls don't deal with til they're 13 or 14, but it seems like these days they're getting younger and younger. Like three year olds are worried about their weight. Six year olds are getting their hair high lighted. Nine year olds are worried about lipstick. Is this destroying the women of our future? Have we really succumb to teaching our daughters to be more superficial and less true to themselves? What is your opinion on this?

Answer Question

Asked by GinNTonic at 3:18 PM on May. 14, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 18 (6,147 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • The beauty and fashion industry don't help either. They seem to be targetting younger girls into buying overly expensive crap they don't really need to "feel good" about themselves. How can an industry sell so much low-self-esteem for such a high price? Why is beauty more important than brains and personality?

    Answer by GinNTonic at 3:23 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • Have you ever seen the show, :toddlers in tiara's", hope I spelled that right. That show will put you over the moon. I watched it for the first time last week and it left me with my mouth hanging open. Do you know that these moms and dads spend close to $8000 per pageant? The little girls who are about 4 and 5 where so sad when they didnt win the title. I dont think I could be involved in something like that with my dd.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:24 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • as for a younger age like 3, 4, 5 or so age, i find it weird for someone that age to be worrying about such things only if they arent playing dress up, then i think to myself maybe the mother's are reflecting it off of their daughters but dont know it.

    as for older ages 10 and over, i am for trying to make sure your daughter runs a comb through her hair every morning, dresses nice and takes the showers/baths. not entirely sure about wieght issues but makeup i think isnt so bad like a light eyeshadow and thats about it, i cant imagine seeing someone that age wearing tons of makeup though. i was that dork who got made fun of in my younger years because no one told me i should be washing my hair and all, i would like my daughter to stay away from that.

    Answer by americansugar80 at 3:29 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • I'm all for allowing Kiwi, 5, to wear lipstick, take hours to pick out the "perfect" outfit and make sure her hair is just so (she spent 4 hours with sponge rollers in her hair for her birthday party, her choice), if she is doing it for her, not so other people will think she's pretty. I put a stop to her "kiddie" makeup out in public because she said she only wore it so the other people at the store would like the way she looked. I feel as long as a kid is doing it for themselves, because they like the way they look/feel, or watch what they eat for health reasons, not because all the magazines have stick figures in them, then it's okay. I think mothers focus too much on looks, constantly telling their girls they are beautiful, so pretty, and not paying as much attention to other stuff, artistic abilities, sports, other interests. I'm jeans, tank, ponytail daily, Kiwi is dress, hair done, makeup at home kind of girl.

    Answer by Kiwismommy19 at 3:37 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • Well the only thing I make my DD do is brush her hair and match her clothes. I think that is pretty normal. I also would not allow my kids to get fat... chubby maybe but not fat. Its sad but girls either get with the style or become a target for the mean girls. I for one do not want my child to be picked on for something she does have control over.

    Answer by Fordmomma at 3:43 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • Its sad but girls either get with the style or become a target for the mean girls. I for one do not want my child to be picked on for something she does have control over.

    So teach your daughter to have self-confidence. Whether she gets fat or not, your job is to let her know what a beautiful person she is inside and out, not cater to what society wants her to do.

    Answer by GinNTonic at 4:00 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • And Kiwi, i'm sorry but five is way too young for a girl to be wearing lipstick.

    Answer by GinNTonic at 4:01 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • And Kiwi, i'm sorry but five is way too young for a girl to be wearing lipstick.
    Gin, five may be too young for YOUR child to wear lipstick, but not others. I don't have girls, but I have boys that love to dress up, and sometimes that includes like a girl. Right now both of them have their nails painted purple (their choice) and one of them wanted green toenails, so I did his. They both like lipgloss sporadically, and when they want to try it, I let them.

    I'm confused by your question. How do you enforce beauty? Do you mean force their child to put make up on, or do their hair? or Reinforcing societal norms?

    I think forcing your child to put make up on or spend hours a day doing their hair when they want to be playing is wrong, but I think it is kind and loving to spend time with your child doing things that they like. If they like make up, then play make up.

    Answer by twin_mommy at 5:07 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • I guess what I really mean is, do you think it's right to criticize your child's appearance? And I don't mean something like, "Oh your face is need to brush your hair, etc." I'm talking about extreme cases where a mother criticizes her daughter's weight, her hair, her appearance. That type of thing. The type of things that bring a girl's self-esteem way down.

    Answer by GinNTonic at 6:18 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • I think a lot of moms force "beauty" on their kids in a sorry ass attempt to compensate for their own shortcomings.
    All it does is compromise their self-esteem, give them a false sense of self-worth, & can make them superficial & vain.

    Answer by emslala at 3:24 AM on May. 15, 2010

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