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why do parents think it's okay to give food to children they do not know??

This has happened to us 3 times in the past month or so: I'm in a public place with my daughters (specifically: the library with a play area, the children's museum, and the park) -- all places where kids are bringing their own snacks, whether it's allowed or not. My daughter, 19 months, has recently been diagnosed with a severe peanut allergy. She's also very social and interacts with the kids and even parents around us. The parents have either just held out their hand, full of pretzels or goldfish or whatever, and offered it to her themselves, or else asked their kids to "be nice and share with the little girl." Without so much a nod in my direction! Obviously I know now that I need to be ready to intervene in a matter of seconds, but why do parents do this??? A few months ago a mother offered my daughter big apple slices, which I was still considering a choking hazard for her!!! Sorry, this is a major vent.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:34 PM on May. 14, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (9)
  • I have never had this problem. I have had a few times people offer food to my kids but they always ask me first. I have 3 kids gaes 2, 5 and 6.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:37 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • I never had that problem either.

    Answer by mompam at 3:39 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • I've only had that happen a few times but it's so annoying. My son is quite allergic to dairy. He can handle someone like a cookie baked with dairy products but something like cheez-its or a serving of dairy would give him nasty tummy issues. I've had people at the playground offer him goldfish crackers and I have to intervene. The only time it really bugged me was in a cookware store with samples when he was right around 2 years old. He was trying a couple of things and asked for a taste of a cheese dip. I told him he couldn't have any and a random guy said "Aw, poor little guy. Here, I'll give you some." He dipped a chip and held it out to him! I was so miffed and gave him a right lecture.

    Answer by RhondaVeggie at 3:43 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • That drives me nuts!

    Most of the time people will ask me first if it's ok to offer them food but sometimes they don't and it makes me angry.

    Like the hairdresser I took my son to. He was crying because he didn't want his haircut so she offered him a lollipop to calm him down.
    What if we had a strict no sugar rule, or what if he was diabetic? What if he had an allergy to red dye?
    After she offered to him she then said "Oh...if it's ok with your mommy of course."
    The proper thing to do would have been to ask me first, not to make me look like a jerk to my son by me saying no after it was already offered.

    Some people just don't think.

    Answer by Laila-May at 3:45 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • OP: The woman who offered my daughter the apples even argued with me about it when I very politely said, "oh no, thanks." She said, "Why not?" And I said, "We have snacks for her." She sounded disgusted: "WELL, it's CLEAN!" And I said, unable to contain my outrage, "I'M HER MOTHER!!!!"

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:50 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • I've never had anyone just give my dd food, they always ask me (I am the hovering type of mother that is always really close by)... I myself have a peanut allergy and make sure to never give kids a snack unless I ask their mother! I thought that was a duh... guess it isn't! Also, to argue with a mother over their choice sounds really odd as well!!! I've never had that happen!

    Answer by 07lilmama1108 at 5:00 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • I dont give kids food without asking the parents EVER. The other day my DD and her cousins were playing out side and i took them Ice cream, the was another child out there and I felt bad for not giving her a cone so I told her to have her dad call and tell us it was ok to eat the ice cream. He is our nebighor and came over and said it was fine. Other than that I make sure to ask parents or just not share with other kids.

    Answer by lovemybabys1106 at 7:48 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • I don't get it either. I have had it happen a few times. I was in target once in the candy aisle and a bag of blow pops was open and suckers spilled on the shelf, the lady picked one up and handed it to my 18 month old! Um, no thanks!!!

    Answer by newmomma14 at 7:57 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • That bothers me, too. When my DD wants to share food, I always tell her she has to ask the adult that is there with the other child. I hate it when we are leaving swimming lessons or some place like that and they give the kids candy right before lunch.

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 9:09 PM on May. 14, 2010

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