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my son's friend plays here while his dad is at a bar

There is a bar on our block. My son has a friend who has been around lately along with his older sister. The friend is in kindergarten and the sister is in first grade. I recently realized that while these children are playing on our block and very often at our house, their father is at the bar drinking. This goes on from roughly 4pm to 6pm several days a week after school. Should I do anything about this and if so what? They seem like they are well taken care of otherwise. They are really great kids. (As far as I know their mother is not in the picture.) I'd also like to add they we live in a very small town. Those of you from a small town know why I'm mentioning it. LOL.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:08 PM on May. 14, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (10)
  • If I were you, I would keep out of it. Really, in my neighborhood you could get your butt shot for saying anything about that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:21 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • Is he drunk when he gets home? Do you mind the kids hanging out with you? If the kids are fine then I wouldnt do anything about it unless u notice he is drunk or you cant watch the kids. Do the kids know how to get ahold of him is something were to happen? I think its kinda weird that no one is responsible for them while he is at the bar but its nice that you have been looking out for them. If I were you I would just keep an eye out for them and be the hang out home and maybe even feed them something healthy.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 4:21 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • So the children are at home by themselves while he's boozing? If so, make an anonymous complaint to CPS. I can't believe anyone would suggest ignoring this neglect. Yesterday a woman was advised to call CPS because she knows of a child that goes 2 weeks without being bathed. And I know all about small town b.s. Still, make the call.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:37 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • No they are not at home. They are playing outside and sometime come in my yard/house. If they need him they go across the street to the bar where he is hanging out.
    boysnbunnies

    Answer by boysnbunnies at 5:38 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • i would talk to the dad about it. i think that is much better than just calling cps on him and trying to have his kids taken away. you have to weigh it out. 2 hours out of the day, dad is having happy hour. the kids seem fine otherwise. if the kids are okay, don't have them go through the drama and hurt of possibly being separated from their father. do a little more investigating, and talk to the guy.
    june_kitten

    Answer by june_kitten at 6:54 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • I would not call CPS. If you think about the damage this could do. The children could possibly be ripped away from the only home they know, and possibly seperated. You clearly post that the children are well taken care of. The bar is on the same street and it is only for a few hours. Every parent raises there children differently it may be hard for this guy especially since he is a single parent. There is no excuse if he is in there getting drunk or not caring for the kids. Your post just seems to suggest he is spending some time for himself. If I were you I would just look out for the kids. Keeping the family together is most important.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:35 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • Um, so he just lets these YOUNG kids run free while he's out at the bar? Yeah, maybe he needs time to himself, but uh, yeah, why not get a sitter? I'd say something to him about letting his kids run free while he's out at the bar, suggest the sitter, and then if nothing changes, then yeah, maybe CPS is needed.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:42 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • I think suggesting a sitter is a good idea. I know all about small towns too and I really wouldn't call CPS unless he was driving with them when he left the bar or you think he's too drunk to properly take care of them once they get home.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:15 AM on May. 15, 2010

  • I live in a town of 600 and it is nothing for the kids to be in the bar...it is better they are with you and at least you know where the dad is if something were to happen...If it were me I would not do anything except watch the situation. The dad is just hanging out with the guys for happy hour..men need to unwind and "be with the guys" and since it is a small town and the bar is so close the kids know where to find dad. Small towns are soo much different then any other area, it's like a whole different set of rules then anywhere else.
    if the kids are happy,clean and fed then why would you get cps involved and have them removed only to be placed in a fostercare system that is messed up. imagine kids being thrown into a strangers home and being treated like crap. foster homes are for kids who are better off in one then to stay with a parent.
    Anyway, leave it alone, it is a small town people look out for eachother
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:56 PM on May. 15, 2010

  • I agree with anon 12:56. Keeping an eye on the situation and maybe even inviting the kids over some to give dad a break every now and again would not be a bad idea.
    You yourself said they are well taken care of, clean, fed, polite kids and he's right there.
    Its diff in a small town than a big city (lived in both).
    Is it much diff from being in the yard/park and having a few beers???
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:06 PM on May. 15, 2010

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