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Would you send your 14 year old daughter's 19 year old boyfriend to jail if she threatened to send your husband, her step-dad, to jail for abusing her?

my daughter and this guy met when she was 13, and he was 17. they were "friends" who appeared to want to be more, despite the big gape they really seem/seemed to like eachother. they were involved with eachother for over 18 months until 4 months ago they decided to be official "boyfriend and girlfriend" he just turned 19, and she is turning 15 later this year. they claim to be, and act, like they are in love. she was honest with me from the start, yet i told her to NOT have sex or i WOULD press charges against him. she came to me and told me they had sex. i feel heartless calling the police, it would break both their hearts and my daughter would hate me forever. what do i do?
this continues my last question. i told my daughter i was going to send her boyfriend to jail, and she told me my husband has been abusing her and if i tell the cops about her boyfriend, she will tell them about my husband. i dont want my husband in jail.

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foreverbabe09

Asked by foreverbabe09 at 10:06 PM on May. 14, 2010 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (49)
  • I would send him to jail regardless....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:08 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • if your husband is abusing her that is where he needs to be. personaly i would not call the cops. i would ground her and not let her see him anymore though.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:10 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • ok...i must ask...why aren't YOU calling the cops on your husband!?! i just say a post about that poor little boy that was hit on the head and severely injured by his step father, then locked in his room while the mother went and married the man. then he was abused further and burned with scalding water by this terrible monster. the mom said she knew he was badly injured, but didn't take him to the hospital. do you remember being pregnant with your daughter? do remember holding her tiny body in your arms and feeling your heart escape your body? leave this man and protect your child. that is your job. you are her mother and she looks to you for protection please do the right thing. don't stay with a man that abuses your children!!!! please open your eyes and heart and give this child the love and help she needs. don't leave it to her to report him to the police...YOU need to do it.
    june_kitten

    Answer by june_kitten at 10:13 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • *saw
    june_kitten

    Answer by june_kitten at 10:14 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • Good Lord... what is done is done but why oh why did you ever let her hang out with a boy this old?????  You have NO ONE to blame for this... it was YOUR choice to allow them to hang out.  Did you not think it would develope into something???


    So what do you do now? How are you going to send that boy to jail? Do you have some proff?


    And if it was MY child... I would send her straight to therapy to find out if it is true... and move him out IMEDIATELY until I knew if it was true. Child first.... second husband second.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:15 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • Is her step father really abusing her? I'd be more concerned with that.
    As far as those two having sex with eachother, its too late now. If you send him to jail for it, shes going to resent you.And probably fight you even harder to be with him. Should have nipped it in the bud before it got a chance to get that far. You know teenss and thier hormones..and being "in love".
    Maybe its a good thing she told you about it, its an opportunity to have an open door relationship with your daughter. You can't stop her, but you can help protect her.
    I wish you the best of luck with this. I know it has to be so hard, I can only imagine. Maybe you can try some family counseling and keep talking to her, don't let the lines of commnuication close down.
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 10:15 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • I wouldn't call the cops on him.
    1. You let them hang out for a long time, you even knew/sensed they had feelings. This relationship should have been nipped in the bud when she was 13.
    2. Because of your in action, you are going to give him a criminal record for the rest of his life.
    3. If you want to call the cops, at least give him the option to leave the relationship first. Tell him leave your dd alone or the next time you know/see them together you will call the cops.
    Soniam301

    Answer by Soniam301 at 10:17 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • No if your daughter was willing to have sex with the boy I would not call the cops on him. Does he really deserve to be labled a sex offeneder for the rest of his life because you let your daughter start dating him and she decided to have sex with him?

    As for her saying your husband is abusing her is he? If he is it should not matter how much you love him you need to get him out of her life.
    Alanaplus3

    Answer by Alanaplus3 at 10:18 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • For 1 I will never allow my 14 year old daughter date a 19 year regardless on how long they've been friends. 2 why the fuck are you protecting your husband and not your daughter? If he is abusing her he needs to go to jail too. I'm so freaking sick and tired of mothers standing back and letting their boyfriends/husbands abuse their children just because they loe them and dont want them to leave. Women lie that make me sick. Did you hear about that case in Utah wher the stepdad killed his 4 year old stepson? The mother knew all about it but did nothing because she didnt want him to leave her.
    I can't beleive yuo're more concerned about your abusive husband going to jail more then your daughter being abused. You make me sick, you shouldnt even be a mom. get a brain and protect your daughter not your fucking husband.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 10:22 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • i also have to point out that it seems a bit bakwards to be ready to send her boyfriend to jail because the two of them had consensual sex, but you don't want your husband in jail for abusing her. where is the logic? i have to agree with alanaplus3, this guy does not deserve having his futre ruined because your daughter willingly slept with him.
    june_kitten

    Answer by june_kitten at 10:25 PM on May. 14, 2010

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