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If parents can't yell nor can't spank then how can parents control their children?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:08 PM on May. 14, 2010 in General Parenting

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Answers (30)
  • Every parent has to decide what form of discipline works best for them. I didn't spank & when I yell, I know it's out of frustration & ineffective, but I try to give logical consequences for their actions such as:

    If my child doesn't have time to do his homework, he doesn't have time to play video games or watch television

    If he can't control himself & hits someone at playgroup, then he has to leave playgroup & go home right then, & may miss the next playgroup

    If he won't pick up his toys & I have to pick them up, they become my toys, & go in a box, & he has to earn them back.

    As they got older the issues & consequences changed. If you're not mature enough to behave at home & get in fights with your brother, you aren't mature enough to go out unsupervised, etc.

    If you want adult responsibilities like driving, then you have to show adult maturity by getting good grades, & taking care of his chores.

    It worked
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 11:33 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • i'm a spanker. Yelling isn't always necessary but a stern talking to to instill 'the fear of mom' can be good. Yelling can actually create little monsters, but I believe spanking to be necessary punishment.
    flaggot13

    Answer by flaggot13 at 11:12 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • Define spanking!?


    Here let me smack you around a bit when you don't do what I want. I'll get some one 3 times as big as you, and 10 times as strong to beat you and see what toll that takes on you!!! I'm sure you'll feel the love huh

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:18 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • i said SPANKING not BEATNG use your brain
    flaggot13

    Answer by flaggot13 at 11:25 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • I was brought up from my parents being spanked and yelled at. I am fine. My son will have rules he will follow, my son will not be out of control. I will enforce all rules and if he gets spanked then thats what will happen. I HATE when kids run around with no manners and parents are not being parents and taking control.
    There is a difference between spanking and beating a child.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:45 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • i dont spank or yell. i dont think they do anything good, and are quite hurtful & traumatizing to a child.
    i think times out, taking things away, and calm talking work best.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 11:51 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • I yelled at and spanked my first 3 kids...then I met my husband and he put a stop to how i was treating my kids and now we have a 5 yr old that...if it were not for his father would get yelled and spanked.

    Since I can no longer do those things I have found just setting up consquences for the behavior is all I have and it works plus I look them sternly in the eye when I mean business and tell them exactly what needs to change and what will happen if they do not listen. If you don't turn off the tv i will take the batteries out of the remote. if you don't take care of your things I will put them out in the garage and save it for a garage sale...I say everything firmly....but what I hate seeing is that my son has become sensititve, he is not use to raised voices so if there if I do actually raise my voice he can't deal with it. Where as my first 3 kids can sit and listen to someone raising their voice and give a response
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:53 PM on May. 14, 2010

  • Well I am a spanker as well. Most of the people who say they do nt it or yell have children under 2 years old. (Some of you have olde rkids and god bless you) My DD would walk all over me if I didn't spank her. She gets a warning. If she does not do what I ask by the count of 3(it is more like 10 seconds instead of 3) she will get a spanking on her butt and that is it. She is learning by that. What works for one family might not work for another one!
    delilahsmom1177

    Answer by delilahsmom1177 at 12:02 AM on May. 15, 2010

  • We use Love and Logic, and the idea is to let the child know what the ground rules are, then deliver reasonable and logical consequences promptly and without yelling. If my child refuses to get ready for school and plays instead, then makes us have a hard time getting out the door, I might give her a consequence of not being able to play on the playground with her friends after school (and at five, that will bring tears). I don't act angry or yell, but I show empathy and tell her I'm sorry that she made a poor choice. I hope she'll do what she is supposed to do next time. Sometimes I mess up and go back to nagging or letting her see that she is getting to me. I get the best results when I follow the method. We have a lot more peace in our house since we started using it.

    I'm not totally opposed to spanking, but I think it's counterproductive and we avoid it.
    Iamgr8teful

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 12:05 AM on May. 15, 2010

  • "i said SPANKING not BEATNG use your brain"


    To a child there it NO difference!!! you are still 3 times as big as a child, and 10 times as strong - do you think hitting a child is love... lets get your hubby to smack you if you didn't do the dishes right... same f'n difference!! Use YOUR brain!!

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:11 AM on May. 15, 2010

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