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How do you handle friends without kids?

One of my friends horrified me one day by disciplining my child without warning (over something I considered to not even be bad behavior). In addition, he invites me + son to dinner and doesn't serve dinner until 9 or 10 at night. Once he insisted on driving and kept my son and I out until 11pm when my son had school the next day.

Do you avoid your friends without kids? Only hang out with them when your children aren't around? Set firm rules with them?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:31 AM on May. 15, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Just because he doesn't have kids doesn't mean he has to be totally clueless. Next time he suggests something just lay down the rules. If he invites the two of you for dinner say "I'd love to come but Son really needs to eat by about 6:30 so he can get to bed at a reasonable hour for school the next day." You could also suggest that he come over to your place if that's an option. That gives you more control over dinner and if he's cooking and running late you can always give your son something easy for dinner to get him off to bed then let him have the leftovers for lunch the next day.
    RhondaVeggie

    Answer by RhondaVeggie at 7:04 AM on May. 15, 2010

  • I no longer have any friends without kids. (well, I do, but I don't hang out with them)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:48 AM on May. 15, 2010

  • Disciplining YOUR child? Oh hell no! I would tell him the next time he invites you that there will be some boundries.. You will deal with your child, you will drive yourself, dinner will be served at an appropriate time or it can wait until a weekend.. Tell him flat out that your child is your priority..
    Ren_Ren

    Answer by Ren_Ren at 8:14 AM on May. 15, 2010

  • I don't bring my child when I go out with my friends.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 8:40 AM on May. 15, 2010

  • I have found it a bit hard to keep my childless friends, because it doesnt seem like there's much in common anymore. Lately it's "hey how are you, good, ok see ya later". But the few friends w/out kids I still talk to and hang out with, and although they now see me as a mom, they also see the same 'ol friend I've always been. Those are my true friends. Oh and I would NEVER let anyone lay there hands on my son. I'd drop that friend quickly, no excuses or apologies accepted. I've avoided someone because she enjoys discipling other kids. I just wish i had the guts to tell her off, but confrontation isnt worth it
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:19 AM on May. 15, 2010

  • This guy sounds like an idiot....not just a "person without kids". I don't know why you would subject your son to that! What kind of discipline, by the way? Kind of scary.... Is this guy someone you are dating or someone who wants to date you? It almost sounds like he is trying to prove something, like you would choose him over your son! I would set him VERY straight......if you think there is anything worth salvaging in the friendship at all!
    BJoan

    Answer by BJoan at 9:40 AM on May. 15, 2010

  • I honestly don't have any friends without kids. I do however expect that my friends will discipline my child when she in their home as I would discipline theirs in my home.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 10:32 AM on May. 15, 2010

  • Its hard when your friends dont have children.. They dont understand most of the time that you cant just drop things at the spur of the moment.. But Your friend should not discipline your child at all that is your job as the parent to discipline when you feel that the situation calls for it. Most times I see my friends dont have alot of patience or get annoyed. So I plan things separate with them going to the movies and etc... It just seems easier to me.

    raurismomma07

    Answer by raurismomma07 at 2:37 PM on May. 15, 2010

  • If someone spanks my kid. NO they would no longer b my friend. Question for you, Why would you go if his dinner isn't until 9-10 so therefore it takes a half hr/hr to eat? I just wouldn't go on weeknights when my kids have school.
    Jerods_Wifey18

    Answer by Jerods_Wifey18 at 2:49 PM on May. 15, 2010

  • OP here: I think there were a lot of misunderstandings. #1 - When I say discipline, I do not mean physical. I meant that he lectured my son in a more than firm voice. I was speechless - I never thought any of my friends would overstep a boundary like that, and I didn't think it would be appropriate to make a scene at the time. Secondly, in response to Jerods Wifey18: I did not know that the dinner would be served at 9-10pm, I was asked to arrive at 7. The other instance of staying out until 11pm began at 6pm and I did not know the intention was to stay out that late when I agreed.
    Additionally, yes, I did share my situation, but I was mostly wondering if other moms even spend time with their childless friends once they have children, since it is becoming increasingly difficult for me.
    And no, he is just a friend. I have absolutely no romantic interest in him whatsoever and he is engaged to a woman who is wonderful.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:17 PM on May. 15, 2010

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