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so tired of everything

I am not happy any more. I have had to deal with money, kids, house etc. mostly alone.I got married at 20 .my mom had cancer and i felt pressured to have kids asap.she passed when my 2 boys were 2 and 6mos.I have had the burden of the kids and money .I have never been able to talk about money cause husband is cranky a lot of the time.I am now working full time but I have to work a sold year just to pay taxes on house.he doesn't have a great realationship with daughter who has a boyfriend who cheated on her but she stayed and spends a good deal of time staying with him.husband glass half empty person and I am tired of it.sometime I want to do m own thing and walk away .I don't really like my life any more and I now have to have operation for pituitay tumor and if something were to happen I am afraid of where daughter would end up.Any one else started over at 48?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:40 AM on May. 15, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • I may be young and haven't been through half of what you have, but I just wanted to say that there is NO age limit on being happy. If you feel that walking away and doing your own thing is going to make you happy, then I say do it. Sometimes it is simply not worth it to stay just because it's comfortable and your afraid of what the future holds for you.
    Ctink8189

    Answer by Ctink8189 at 10:09 AM on May. 15, 2010

  • Gosh, it isn't up to your husband to make you happy. You have to decide to be happy for you. You made your choices. I wouldn't suggest leaving and starting over. I would suggest taking a break, go to the spa for the weekend or something. You sound like you just need some me time and to get some energy. You also have to realize that other people's choices are just that, their choices. You can't change what they have decided to do, your daughter staying with her boyfriend, your dh being upset with that (what dad really wouldn't be, he probably wants better for his daughter). Anyway, all I am saying is concentrate on yourself for awhile. Maybe if your attitude changed a little it would also help your dh's.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:18 AM on May. 15, 2010

  • "Gosh, it isn't up to your husband to make you happy. You have to decide to be happy for you. You made your choices. I wouldn't suggest leaving and starting over. "

    I ditto this!

    1st - Pituitary tumor surgery is no biggy. They go in through the nose & it's very minor (I saw a nurologist about this, almost had it myself).
    2nd - You have a woe is me attitude and have for years. Way back at 20 you decided to play the victim and have assumed this role for a couple decades.
    3rd - Children are a gift, not a burden. To look at it this way after raising a whole family indicates you are depressed and need counseling.
    4th - Leaving your husband won't make you happy (see 2nd & 3rd above). You need to work on YOU.

    Ready Dr. Laurau's book "Stop Whining Start Living." It will help a ton; buy it today. Then get in with a good counselor.
    ThrivingMom

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 10:40 AM on May. 15, 2010

  • After the surgery take a break. Your daughter will be fine. Think about you. Find your joy again.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:51 AM on May. 15, 2010

  • *Read not ready. Sorry for the typo.
    ThrivingMom

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 10:54 AM on May. 15, 2010

  • you know she came here to vent and for support not to be put down for choices she made. I say do what makes you happy. I agree you need to work on happiness within yourself but if your relationship is misserable then yes I would consider leaving. Sometimes being alone is more peaceful and will give you more happiness.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:18 AM on May. 15, 2010

  • I've always thought that even though marraige is a long-term lifetime goal, sometimes it doesn't need to be. People do change. You aren't wrong for feeling the stress that you do. Sometimes we all feel like life was dictated to us, as opposed to us having choices that we can make on our own. As long as you remain open with those around you, you should be able to let them know how you are feeling. I agree that you need a break. Is it possible for you and a friend to go on a week long vacation, maybe without hubby and kids? Perhaps you could join a social group in your town, at your library or at a craft store. Don't give up! I think that the answer that Ctink8189 gave about there not being an age limit on happiness is perfect. It will work out for you, it just takes time. The biggest thing to remember is that you are the one who has to initiate change. Change (small or big, you or them) is the only thing that will help you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:10 PM on May. 15, 2010

  • First lets look at the word Menopause, Maybe. 48 yrs old. I am same age, pretty much same life, only sis died of C. I now have a 3yr. old, my other two from previous marriage are in college. My 22yr. old daughter went through same with her boyfriend. Her dad was in prision. No help there. You need all about me time, and don't feel quilty. Join a group, get a hobbie. If needed, get an apartment. "Your own space" is what is needed. You can have everyone over your place for Sunday dinner.Daughter, makes her own choices. She will move on give it time. Someone else will come along for her. Here is a little sunshine note, "Move in with daughter, and her boyfriend, after you have the surgery. Have them take care of you. LOL! But seriously, it is your time to shine, and feel good about your life. I think your mom would want the same for you.What would your mom want? Good Luck! Keep Positive it will keep you happy.
    Sunshine007775

    Answer by Sunshine007775 at 3:08 PM on May. 15, 2010

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