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!!! ok so I have a question...we met this really nice girl that has a daughter our sons age and a husband in the Navy and they have money or it seems because they are always going and getting or doing and want us to do the same and well we live from pay check to pay check we pay our bills then do want we want with the rest.We have money in the savings but thats for emergencies. I dont know what to do I want to be friends with them but we cant always just go and do.and I dont know how to tell them they are older than we are about 5 to 7 years so I know I should be able to tell them why we cant but I cant

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:29 PM on May. 15, 2010 in Money & Work

Answers (10)
  • Why not plan something simple, then? A day out at the park for the kids with a homemade picnic or dinner at your place or game night or something of that nature? It's still fun and it's still allowing you to be friends without the amount of money you make making a difference. Make the suggestion and invite them to come with.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:32 PM on May. 15, 2010

  • Just be honest with them and tell them that you do not have the money to do that at this time, then suggest something simple like the previous answer suggests.
    crbloom

    Answer by crbloom at 1:43 PM on May. 15, 2010

  • Don't be ashamed of having a budget!!!! I got in ALOT of trouble trying to "keep up with the Jonses"' Now when someone asks DH and I to do something,, we say sorry it isn't in our budget,, and then say if you want to come over and BBQ,, great,, I do think you and your hubby deserve at least one "date night" a month! You didn't say what they were doing that is so expensive,, but I will whip out a cupon at a nice dinner any day! Don't not be friends with them over this!!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 1:45 PM on May. 15, 2010

  • Just pick the things that you want to do and go have fun, then say "No we can't this time" on the other things. Then suggest things that are in your budget that you guys can all do together. Even if it's sit at home and have a BBQ. Add into the plan some things that you can afford, but also say "No, we can't this time" when you really can't. It's okay to not be able to do all they can do. Heck, they could be in debt up to their eyeballs due to their lifestyle. Just live your life within your means. If it comes up let them know that you don't like spend all the time. That you guys prefer to save most of your money. You don't have to say "We live paycheck to paycheck", just tell them "We prefer not to spend it all the time." and leave it at that.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 1:52 PM on May. 15, 2010

  • its not what they are doing but how often they are doing it we could go out just not all the time. we do deserve a date night they are just few and far between our last was almost 2 years ago and our kids are 3 and 16months...we have an anni coming up so i think we will do something then...And those are great ideas I just didnt want to keep saying not this time and so worth ya'll have helped alot thanks!!! delete your answer
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:55 PM on May. 15, 2010

  • laugh it off and say im kinda short right now... and use the responses above.
    JSMITH07

    Answer by JSMITH07 at 6:24 PM on May. 15, 2010

  • Don't let money be a reason to not be friends. There is also no reason to get into your financial status with this couple. Instead you take the reins and plan the events. Ask her to go do free things with you. Say "Hey why don't you and ___ come over tonight for a movie night" or "Hey why don't we go to the park at cook hotdogs and burgers and play tennis on the court" or "Lets have a scrapbooking night (whatever you girls are into)" and allot a small amount of money in your budget for occasional events like a movie. Check your areas listings. Here there are tons of free outdoors concerts and festivals during the Summer. Plan on going to those together. We also have free movie nights in the park here. Most cities do. Just look online for free events in your area. Usually the movies are a year old or so but its a fun time.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:20 PM on May. 15, 2010

  • I'm guessing they are going into debt to live that well. Just tell them that y'all stick to your budget so you can save for a house or something. If they can't respect that then you don't need to be friends with them. Invite them over to the house or other free events going on around town.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:46 PM on May. 15, 2010

  • Not everyone is in debt because they live this way.  That's something that people without money try to tell themselves to justify their jealousy.   We have no debt... no credit cards, etc.   We just work hard and spend our money the way we want.   We rent, so there is not home ownership crap.   Just pay rent, buy vehicles... Oh and my kids are grown and on their own.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:51 PM on May. 16, 2010

  • OK, SO JUST WRITE AN EMAIL:
    DEAR_____,
    IVE BEEN WANTING TO TELL U SOMETHING FOR ALITTLE BIT AND COULDNT FIND THE RIGHT WORDS SO I FIGURED ID JUST GIVE MYSELF TIME AND WRITE THIS EMAIL. ID LOVE TO CONTINUE OUR FRIENDSHIP GOING OUT AND ENJOYING OUR CHILDREN GROWING TOGETHER BUT I FIND THAT SOMETIMES MY FINANCIAL SITUATION MAKES IT HARD FOR MWE TO KEEP UP WITH U AS MUCH AS I WOULD LIKE TO! IM HOPING WE CAN FIGURE SOMETHING OUT..MAYBE MORE WALKS IN THE PARK..LOL.
    SINCERELY-----------
    innocentmyworld

    Answer by innocentmyworld at 8:00 PM on May. 20, 2010

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