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What would you do?

I don't really know where to post this, but it is about the relationship between and my DSwhich is pretty much non-existent. Short back story, his father cheated on me and got another girl pregnant, her baby is a few months older then mine. We broke up when I was 5months pregnant, and I never heard from him again until DS was 1 month old, and a mutual friend came over and he tried waiting in the car, and I told the friend to just tell him to come in he should see his son while he is here. He came in for 5 min the threatened to kick my friends butt because he didn't want to. DS is now a little over a year, and he has only seen him about 5 times. One of those times was DS birthday party. Then no word for a whole month and he calls the day before and asks to come see him. I was busy so I told him that I couldn't this weekend. Everyone keeps on telling me not to let him in DS life, that it's only going to cause him pain.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:16 PM on May. 16, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • cont.
    I feel slightly the same but dont want to get in the way of a relationship that they could have had. I also don't want to say no enough is enough and then DS finds his dad later and then gets told well "you mom wouldn't let me see you"
    Question is what would you do????
    Sorry this was so long
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:19 PM on May. 16, 2010

  • Tell your friends that he has rights and you can't keep him from seeing his child. Make sure you file for child support and set up visitation through the court.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:15 PM on May. 16, 2010

  • Let him see his son, he has rights, I wouldnt push it though, if he doesnt want to, let him go, or if he is willing to sign over his rights I might try it that way. You need to protect your son, even if your son will be mad later, but if he doesnt want to give up his rights, you have to let him see him. Deal with visitations through the courts. And just be honest with your son as he grows up and tell him that you chose poorly, and that his dad is who his dad is, and always remind him of all the other people that are there for him. Find another good male role model for your son too, because this man sounds like a piece of work and you need some positive male influences in his life.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:41 PM on May. 16, 2010

  • Sounds to me he'll just break your sons heart. He comes and goes as he pleases and that's not fair to your son. Tell him he either needs to see your son on a regular basis or dont see him at all. Why have your son get attached to him to only have him leave him and not show up again in a few months or longer? If he wants to be in your sons life he needs to start being a real father. Like I said have a set amount of days he can see he's son a month or just cut off all ties. This is about your son not about when it's convenent for the dad to see his son.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 5:04 PM on May. 16, 2010

  • OP here..He doesn't want to, he even said he doesn't want to be known as DAD, he just wants to know he is okay, and even gets DS to call him by his first name. DS dad doesn't want rights, and doesn't want to pay CS, he even threatened me if I tried to get it. He isn't on the Birth Certificate or anything like that, and when I talked to a lawyer they said that its pointless for me to go to court if I there was no involvement and I am doing good without CS. I am with someone though and he loves DS to pieces and is wonderful with him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:55 PM on May. 16, 2010

  • Since he doesn't want to be a father to your son, he needs to give up his rights. Why not let the person in your life adopt your son? Your son deserves to have a father in his life - it's important!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:04 PM on May. 16, 2010

  • JERRY JERRY JERRY JERRY JERRY
    ambr2006

    Answer by ambr2006 at 8:42 PM on May. 16, 2010

  • Oh yeah thats constructive ambr2006, please tell me how this post is meant for Jerry?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:59 PM on May. 17, 2010

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