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i get i'm never in the mood now. :-(

its b/c i dont feel appreciated. Last night, i planned a sex night for me and B (my BF). it was really good- and REALLY satisfying! but right afterwards, we fell asleep (it lasted from like 11:30-2 so its understandable), but i woke up and realized he had his back towards me. strike #1. then i had a bad dream (rape victim- rape dream) so i went upstairs and fell asleep on the couch. i went back to the bedroom a few hours after that, and basically it was a hour before he had to go. i didnt know he had to work in the AM, i was so sure he said he had to work at 3pm.. but then he left, and i just want to cry. i've been wanting to cry all day- i'm still not over him leaving and it was 8 hours ago.

we dont live together, and these special nights are few and far between.. next time i will see him is on tuesday night.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:27 PM on May. 16, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Wow, I dont even get why you are upset at all. Your upset because he was sleeping with his back towards you? Do you ever move in your sleep? I know I do, I sleep both directions, and on my stomach, etc. Then you chose to go sleep on the couch and you are upset that he decided to take off, did he tell you he was leaving? Dont you think he should have been upset that you didnt sleep with him. I dont know I think that you need to stop having sex with this guy, because obviously you are not ready for all that an intimate relationship intails, and you are obviously very insecure. I am sorry if this sounds harsh, but you really need to look at yourself here.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:35 PM on May. 16, 2010

  • when i had my bad dreams, i have to get myself out of that area. it happens A LOT and if i stay there, especially in bed, i either think about the real event, or i fall asleep and go right back into my rape dream. its been popping up like this more frequently. but yea, i was upset b/c of how he was sleeping. he doesnt really sleep turned away from me, and i took it personal. especially since usually, we have more time afterwards to reconnect on a level that i want/need. i get that guys need sexual touches, and females need the emotional ones. i just felt like my emotional needs werent met, but i overlooked it b/c i thought that we had the morning/mid afternoon to connect in the way that i wanted/needed. (there's more to why i dont feel the emotional connection with him right now).

    reading it- it sounds stupid/silly... but i cant be faulted for how i am feeling.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:40 PM on May. 16, 2010

  • Why are you feeling unappreciated? I sleep with my back to my husband all the time. It's just how I sleep. I move while I sleep, so I can also face him. It's not like you can force yourself to stay in one direction if you're not comfortable. And if he had to go to work, then he had to go to work. Why are you getting your panties in a bunch over it?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:40 PM on May. 16, 2010

  • I don't understand this at all. I think that your being extremely needy and if your not careful your going to drive this guy away. My husband and I NEVER sleep facing each other because that is just how we sleep, facing the edge of the bed. We cuddle and all that good stuff before going to bed and then we say goodnight and turn our separate ways. Also, if the man has to go to work, then he has to go to work. Nothing you can do about that and nothing he can do either. I don't want to sound rude but I think that maybe you should consider talking to a doctor. Sounds like you may have some emotional issues that need attention.
    Ctink8189

    Answer by Ctink8189 at 4:44 PM on May. 16, 2010

  • Ok so I can understand getting out of bed because of your dream, fine, but you can not fault him for his actions, he wasnt doing anything against you. If you have such emotional problems you really shouldnt be having sex with him. It obviously makes you feel worse about yourself. So I wouldnt be doing it at all. Especially if there are other problems involved. I dont need an emotional thing after sex, but thats because me and my husband love eachother, and sex is us showing eachother how much we love eachother, I know he doesnt use me for sex.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:44 PM on May. 16, 2010

  • did he fart? i don't like that either.
    staciandababy

    Answer by staciandababy at 4:52 PM on May. 16, 2010

  • ^^ lol
    Ctink8189

    Answer by Ctink8189 at 4:54 PM on May. 16, 2010

  • i cant stop having sex with him. we've been together for almost 2 years, sex has always been apart of our relationship. maybe appreciated isnt the right word- maybe just acknowledged. i mean, we see each other maybe 2 nights a week and its like that the entire time, but last night was supposed to be special b/c i thought we had the day for ourselves too. but i know tuesday, we'll have sex and he'll leave in teh AM, we wont "talk" until he comes over, and it'll be the same thing again- sex, no true talking. we dont talk throughout the days that we dont see each other, he brought up a subject thats a little touchy on my side (his ex girlfriend) and i emailed him my opinion/thoughts on it, and i never get a reply back... not just for that, but for any emails i send him (which isnt that often).

    its not just sex for us, but on my side- thats what i feel its all about, just sex.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:54 PM on May. 16, 2010

  • You have been together for 2 years, right? Maybe yall should have a talk about possibly moving in together and see how he feels about it. I also think that if your only seeing eachother 2 days a a week and that is all you do is have sex then maybe it's your fault that you feel this way. Try just hanging out, going to dinner, watching a movie, and actually doing things as a couple rather than staying couped up in your apartment having sex.
    Ctink8189

    Answer by Ctink8189 at 4:59 PM on May. 16, 2010

  • he doesnt come over until really late at night- around 10 or 11pm. even when i try to plan something during the day, it doesnt happen that often. like a trip to the park- he went with us... but the last time we went out together was a long time ago, even tho i've planned zoo trips, movie trips, etc.

    i'm not ready to move/live with him. he needs to get more secure with his finances, and i- for obvious reasons- need to work on my emotional health.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:04 PM on May. 16, 2010

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