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Grief how long is too long?

how long is too long to grieve for someone you havent been with forever. Its been over 3 years.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:03 PM on May. 16, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • if you were in love then you will not be over them completely until you fall in love with someone else. i grieved losing my first love for about three years but i finally fell in love again and his memory was gone because i was happy and in love with someone else. you will find love again and then his memory will be gone
    aliishott2

    Answer by aliishott2 at 6:10 PM on May. 16, 2010

  • I dont really believe it takes a new relationship to get over an old one. I did start dating again and I ended up with what I had just left. There are many stages to grieving. Denial, anger, deal making, depression and the last one is acceptence. I was in the depression stage for a long time. It sounds like that is where you are at too. You didnt say how long you where with him. That comes into play as well, the length of time you where together and if you have children together. Have you gotten into counseling? Counseling can be an amazing tool to help you work through the depression. There are depression meds that can help too, depending on your beliefs. Bottom line for me was that I had to learn how to be ok with myself. I can keep going out there and finding more jerks or I can relax and learn how to enjoy the ride. A man can add to your life, but a man cant complete you. That has to come from within.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:18 PM on May. 16, 2010

  • Like a break up or did the person die??
    imamommmmyyy

    Answer by imamommmmyyy at 6:29 PM on May. 16, 2010

  • In my experience, grief stays around until the individual is able to work through it. There is no time limit. If you are dealing with grief and YOU FEEL like it's too long....get some counselling. Talking about the situation with someone, crying (more)...are all okay until YOU FEEL better.
    kjrn79

    Answer by kjrn79 at 6:41 PM on May. 16, 2010

  • grieve as in miss and wish it was not that way -as long as you need. Grieve as in locked away, discouraging/refusing other relationships, constantly referring to that person or comparing to that person... I think you have hit the limit. If you haven't been with them for 3 years, it is possible you have built them up to be better than reality, on a pedestal. It's called missing the man you never had. Were they really so perfect that no one else will ever be that great , or are you glossing over some stuff cause it's nicer to remember the good bits. You aren't together now for a reason?
    myheartx4

    Answer by myheartx4 at 8:34 PM on May. 16, 2010

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