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does my husband miss his ex?

my husband and i have been married 5 years & i just gave birth to our third child last month. we've been happier than ever.. at least that's what i thought. anyway, last week, i noticed he cleared the history on our computer & i had a funny feeling in my gut so i asked him about it. he said he just cleared it because the computer was running slow, so i dropped it. a couple days later, i stumbled on the google search history and saw that he searched his ex's name. she got married a few months ago. i know he's not cheating & he was probably just curious, but it broke my heart. i felt betrayed because i found out why he cleared the history & he was trying to hide it. i asked him about it & told him that i felt kinda hurt because it seems like he's been thinking about her or else he wouldn't have searched her & i think he misses her. cont..

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:19 PM on May. 16, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • cont.. : he got a little upset that i even would ask but reassured me that he loves only me & he just wanted to see if she was having marital problems like his friends were telling him about. but i wondered why he would even care? it just bothered & hurt me a lot, but i dropped it. there isn't much i could do in that situation anyway, all i could do is tell him how i felt & that's it. it's been a few days and it's still bugging me. i question whether or not he's really happy with me.. i thought we had a perfect marriage but this makes me question it. am i over reacting? am i right to think he misses her? and what am i supposed to do if he does? i feel helpless because he hasn't really committed any crime, but i don't know if his heart is in this anymore only because of this incident...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:24 PM on May. 16, 2010

  • i wish i had advice... but i'm in the same position as you.. my guy is still talking with his ex tho- and since its on the phone, i have no proof of what they are saying to each other. i'm beginning to not trust him, even tho he "tells" me what she "says"... and there's also talk of her visiting this state, and them hanging out.. adn even tho i was "invited"- by him, not her.. it still makes me question our relationship and our trust.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:35 PM on May. 16, 2010

  • It just sounds like curiosity and he wasn't thinking about her as much as the friends brought her up. If he wasn't happy with you he'd let you know and leave. He sounds like he's happy with you. I wouldn't read too much into it
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:05 PM on May. 16, 2010

  • That's not true. Not everyone will leave a relationship if they are unhappy. specially men. Honey... I would nip this in the bud as soon as you can. Curiosity is all it takes for curiosity to turn into cheating.


    It just sounds like curiosity and he wasn't thinking about her as much as the friends brought her up. If he wasn't happy with you he'd let you know and leave. He sounds like he's happy with you. I wouldn't read too much into it

    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 11:35 PM on May. 16, 2010

  • U hv just had your 3rd child and im sure u r still a liitle sensitive considering all the hormonal changes your body is going through. your dh was probably trying to b considerate by sparing your feelings but he had facebook there to check it out to satisfy his curiosity so he checked it out. He reassured you when you asked about it and i think he was trying to b a good guy and be considerate and just didnt think you would have rather him just b honest about something he may have thought might hurt u after he did it. I dont think he wanted to upset u but his friends put the idea in his head and he followed up out of curiosity. i would let it go. he sounds like a good guy. enjoy your new baby.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:47 PM on May. 16, 2010

  • Men don't usually leave just for being unhappy. They usually leave when they have someone else to leave their SO for. However, in his case, it was shady he lied about it at first but maybe he really just was looking to see what she was up to and didn't want your feelings hurt. Although, that happened anyway. :(
    rio_burb

    Answer by rio_burb at 1:19 PM on May. 17, 2010

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