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how can I help my daughter

My 11-year old son was telling me that my 12-year old daughter's friend got mad at her and called her the "n-word" (she is bi-racial-I am white and her father is black). She is very sensitive and has low self-esteem and when I asked her what happened she started crying. The school has more whites than blacks, so most of her friends are white. I feel like taking out of the school now-I thought that the world was getting a little better with racism but I guess I am wrong. My other daughter who is 7 came home the other day and told me that some white kids at the daycare told her that only white kids could come under the shelter. This really angered me because I know that these kids are learning these things from their parents. I have never taught my kids hatred or color, and I don't know how to handle this. I am worried about their self-esteem.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:00 PM on May. 16, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (8)
  • I don't think they necessarily learn it from their parents. Kids will pick on anyone who is different. At a very young age color is an easy thing to see that is different from everyone else.

    BlooBird

    Answer by BlooBird at 10:03 PM on May. 16, 2010

  • Wow I'm sorry. But unfortunately this is something they are going to face no matter where they are...there are racist people in every school, in every town, in every neighborhood...SOMEONE will think or say hateful or mean things based on their race. What you need to do is teach them about their black history, and culture. Make them feel good about being bi-racial, and if kids continue to pick on them, they can inform the kids of something cool about their ancestry or something like that? Maybe that might work.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:06 PM on May. 16, 2010

  • Going to throw a name out here, President Obama. He has a black father and a white mother and he is president of the United States of Americia. Do not take this laying down. Go to the parents of this child and tell them what happened. It is up to you to take a stand and stop this in its tracks. Your children have every right to be there at this school and everywhere else they go and President Obama is a testiment to that. Instill in your children everything President Obama is to this country right now. In fact, turn on the tv and show your children President Obama, and tell them about him and who he is and where he came from. Good luck hon
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:09 PM on May. 16, 2010

  • I would cry too if someone called me a name, seriously, it hurts.

    Firstly, I think letting her know she is very very special to yall and that God made her the way she is, and that she gets her worht from HIM, is worth taking a second look at because she is feeling low.

    Secondly, I would help her with role playing so she would know how to respond to this stuff. You pretend to be a mean kid (make up a silly name though to "call" her or whatever, so she can respond in different ways...
    txdaniella

    Answer by txdaniella at 10:11 PM on May. 16, 2010

  • This is why it's just cruel that people cross cultures like that. What right do you have to put your children through that? You knew what they'd have to go through and you put them through it anyway. That's just incomprehensible to me how people can hurt their own children on purpose.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:29 PM on May. 16, 2010

  • anon 7:29, not cool man,,,not cool and you wonder why we stay anon. Its cause of people like this. Cant believe we have a President that we have and there is still bashing like this? So wrong on so many levels. Im anon 7:09 and I still stand by what I say. I also want to add here, that my kids know no race gender. They are white and would NEVER say the N word to their dear friends. I would hope that there is change in our society, I know where my high schoolers are concerned some of their best friends and some of my closiest parent friends are from all colors and all languages. Maybe we have the best school in the nation b/c we have every color under the rainbow at this school and all the kids get along.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:39 PM on May. 16, 2010

  • I thought about answering this question yesterday and decided against it...but as usual, something brought me back here to speak my peace...and here it goes...its tough raising children, even tougher when a child has african american blood running through them...one thing that I teach my children is to be proud of who they are andthats by educating them on who they are... to realize that when someone put you down, its because of thier own insecurites. I teach them much more but that's the basics of it...kids will pick up on what they hear an adult say, not necessarily thier own parents. Since this has happened at school, I would write the principal or teacher a letter and see how they deal with these types of issues.
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 3:41 PM on May. 18, 2010

  • Oh and one more thing...please explain to your daughter that if her so called friends could call her the "N" word without any regard to her feelings, then they aren't her friends in the first place...all kids know what the "N" word mean by that age...JMT
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 3:43 PM on May. 18, 2010

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