Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Could you feel sorry for this situation?

I know some women (including my mother) who had an abortion and then the next pregnancy was a miscarriage. Both of them seemed sad, but I couldn't feel for thier miscarriage at all because I can't understand how you could mourn over one and not the other.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:21 PM on May. 16, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (37)
  • I would definitely have sympathy. I am completely against abortion and I know what its like to go through a miscarriage (although for me I believe that no matter how far along you are in a pregnancy its still a child). But yes, I would have compassion and sympathy even though they had an abortion the pregnancy before.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:23 PM on May. 16, 2010

  • Sad either way.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:24 PM on May. 16, 2010

  • I tend to agree with you. How anyone could kill their own child is beyond me, much less be sad about a subsequent miscarriage. I do feel that it would be abnormal to lose a child and not mourn, but I would think they would feel much worse about the previously aborted child, because guilt should be added to the sorrow.

    Answer by neebug3766 at 11:24 PM on May. 16, 2010

  • It seems it's only a baby when you want it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:26 PM on May. 16, 2010

  • my mom did the same thing
    she had 2 abortions one when i was 3
    one when i was 12
    both selfish reasons IMO
    then when she wanted more she had my sis when I was 7
    and got preg when I was 12 again and 13 both miscarriages
    then preg one more time when i was 14 when she found out she could no longer get pregnant let alone have a child of her own

    i didnt feel bad
    just like, upset with her because it was an awful KARMA experience

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 11:27 PM on May. 16, 2010

  • IF they don't mourn over their abortion then yes, it would be silly for them to be sad about a miscarriage in any other capacity but that they were disappointed that they didn't get what they wanted and have to try again. BUT, most of the women I know who had abortions mourned for their aborted babies. They weren't happy about ending their pregnancies, and they were heartbroken afterwards.

    Maybe you didn't see the heartbreak in the women you know who aborted because it's considered inappropriate to grieve for a loss you caused yourself. If a woman shows sadness after an abortion she catches more hell for it than if she just seems to move on.

    Answer by Ati_13 at 11:29 PM on May. 16, 2010

  • I agree with you. If it wasn't a baby when they murdered the first one why should they say it is a baby to mourn over now? Especially if the miscarriage happened in the same stage of pregnancy as the abortion (which is very likely). If you could kill one then why should you be upset when one is taken from you? In my mind it is kind of like nature's payback.

    **In saying this, I am NOT aiming at those who had an abortion due to medical issues or rape.**

    Answer by imamommmmyyy at 11:34 PM on May. 16, 2010

  • most women who have abortions still mourn their lost child. even if they feel they made the right decision. i think they are both sad situations

    Answer by jennifer588 at 11:36 PM on May. 16, 2010

  • why is an abortion so bad? many women are victims of incest, rape, have severely complicated pregnancies, find themselves abandoned, all kinds of things that would justify an abortion. why all the negative judgement. i am not suggesting that abortion should replace proper birth control. but there are instances when it is the best option.

    Answer by june_kitten at 11:38 PM on May. 16, 2010

  • Please, that's like saying why mourn a child to whom you gave birth who has died when you once had an abortion.

    I agree with the posters that said women who have abortions (most not necessarily all) mourn their loss, however they are more private about it since abortion is such a hot button topic.

    Answer by heatheryn at 11:40 PM on May. 16, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.