Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

if your not married. should you put the child in the father's last name?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:04 AM on May. 17, 2010 in Pregnancy

This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • You should do what you feel is right. If you would like your child to have your maiden name then that's what you should do and visa-versa. I didn't have my moms or dads last name. My mom gave me her stap-dads last name(he had been her DAD since she was 6mths old)and I loved being the only grandchild of such a wonderful grandfather to have his last name. My dad was not happy with it but that is what my mom felt was right. Her and my dad were not on good terms the entire pregnancy and for a year afterwards and she didn't want be to have her maiden name bcuz she hated her bio father(which was his last name), so instead she named me after the male that she loved most in her life. So if you think your SO is someone you would want your child to share a name with then that's great, but dont make decisions on "what's normally done" bcuz that isn't always the right thing for all involved. Good luck
    momluvsmiles

    Answer by momluvsmiles at 1:42 AM on May. 17, 2010

  • that's generally how it's done
    StellarJKD

    Answer by StellarJKD at 1:08 AM on May. 17, 2010

  • No I would not.
    Kathy-PSPR

    Answer by Kathy-PSPR at 1:10 AM on May. 17, 2010

  • that's what i did, i thought that's how it worked.
    staciandababy

    Answer by staciandababy at 1:10 AM on May. 17, 2010

  • I wasnt married to DH when our oldest was born and I gave him his fathers last name. 12 years later all I can think is it would be rather silly for only one of our children to be walking around with my maiden name.

    Do what feels right to you, either way it is not harder or easier as some people would like to pretend. My mother had a different last name than I did when she remarried and we made it from the age of 5 until now at 33 with no issues. In the year that my son and I had different last names there were no problems at all.
    3_ring_circus_

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 1:14 AM on May. 17, 2010

  • I guess it depends on the dad. If he's just a "sperm donor" then there's no need.
    Traditionally the child gets the father's last name.
    I know people who hyphenated the mom and dad's last names.
    Laila-May

    Answer by Laila-May at 1:16 AM on May. 17, 2010

  • i wouldnt..and i didnt...it can always get changed down the road. but there was nooooo way i was givng MY daughter his last name!! no chance!!!!!!!
    alexis_06

    Answer by alexis_06 at 1:31 AM on May. 17, 2010

  • i did with my first because one he asked me too and because where we live all the cops know the last name due to my bro and mom and other family and i didnt want it to be held against her. and three because we planned on getting married just didnt have the money to do so. she was born in 07 and we will be married one year this wednesday may 19
    ashleywilkerson

    Answer by ashleywilkerson at 1:45 AM on May. 17, 2010

  • It's completely up to you. Don't feel pressured to use his name if you don't want to.
    cpyrrha

    Answer by cpyrrha at 1:48 AM on May. 17, 2010

  • Um, I'm actually in a happy committed relationship with the father of my child and she still doesn't share his last name. It is ugly, doesn't flow with her name, and it belongs to his step-dad who never really accepted him (and it means penis, hint-hint). So, she has my name because he didn't want to change his and because I really wanted to share her name and I am not taking his. Maybe when we get married next summer he'll take our last name. Maybe not. Either way, it was more important to me to share my daughter's last name then to carry on a patriarchal tradition. I think you should do what feels right for you. Is he involved? Are you going to be the one signing up for school, etc? If so, maybe it would be best for the child to share your name. It's not really that big of a deal, it's just a name. There is no law that the child must take the man's name. It's just a tradition of patriarchy, as I said.
    Bellarose0212

    Answer by Bellarose0212 at 1:51 AM on May. 17, 2010