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How should i tell MIL to mind her own business :)

So my MIL just keeps constantly telling me i need to go apply for any and every type of gov assistance. Even though i am currently not working because i just had a baby last month i will be back to work this month. As of right now we are doin pretty good with me not working. I dont know if maybe its just me being mean or is it her being nosey. mind you she had been on housing assistance for over 10 years. and little does she know i keep money in my savings for crisis. How should i tell to back off or what should i tell her? i just dont feel she needs to be in our business like the way it seems she is trying to?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:26 AM on May. 17, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • Have you tried telling her nicely and she isn't listening? If not, just say that. Say, thank you for the advice, but we'll make it through. Period, the end. If so, you need to ask DH to tell her not to get on your case about it anymore. If she continues after that, you have license to be harsh and tell her point blank, I don't need to share our financial business with you.
    Bellarose0212

    Answer by Bellarose0212 at 2:03 AM on May. 17, 2010

  • MY opinion... I'd say to just TELL her... Nicely of course, and if THAT don't work, go the blunt way...
    My MIL is just like this, (only with other stuff such as wedding prep and stuff) I've told her NICELY that I don't want to do it that way or this way, and she STILL doesn't listen, so I have to be a bitch about it... It's the ONLY way to get through to her!
    Also, have you tried having your SO talk to her? SOMETIMES that will help... IDK but GL! :)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:03 AM on May. 17, 2010

  • Try to politely tell her to back off. Tell her you appreciate her concern but that it isn't needed because you're doing ok and you'll be back to work soon. When I first split from my ex it took months to find a new job (I moved out of state back home so I had to quit my job) and during that time I was on state insurance but nothing else. My mom supported me and my kids during that time because if I ever come into money, such as an inheritence, the state will take it to pay back any food or cash assistance they provided me. My mom was the one who came up with it so even though I felt bad not contributing I agreed to it and began paying her back when I got a job. My mom was on assistance for the first 8 months after my older brother was born, 28 years ago, my grandmother died 4 years ago and the state took their money out of my mom's inheritance so they keep good records.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:04 AM on May. 17, 2010

  • Well if you are looking to be respectful but still to the point, I would say some thing along the lines of :"MIL I appreciate you attempting to look out for us,but we are doing fine. We do not need government assistance. We also consider our finances to be a private matter and would appreciate you bringing them up again. Thanks!"
    DH and I had the exact same problem. MIL wanted us to apply for everything we possibly could when we had no need for it. I told her something along the lines of this and she backed off. Of course she then started in on BIL, but hey at least she was off my back.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:06 AM on May. 17, 2010

  • I'd thank her for her suggestions but assure her that you are fine without outside assistance.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:22 AM on May. 17, 2010

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