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Why do people assume we're on PA?

Is it so hard to imagine that if I'm a SAHM,that we just live within our means? We have the issue with having no friends/family that can take my autistic 9 yr old son to babysit if he should get sick or be on vacation from school,so I'm unable to work. I wouldn't have a job very long if I had to take all those days off. So we live off my husband's salary,and we do just fine. My son's school assumed we were on PA! i have no problem with people being on it for a hand up,but I was insulted that they just assumed we were on it like my husband's job wasn't good enough to support us.I guess it was a pride issue for me! They looked at me like I was lazy and getting it because I refused to work so get PA instead.


Asked by Anonymous at 8:42 AM on May. 17, 2010 in Just for Fun

This question is closed.
Answers (32)
  • yep we get that all the time :) i'm in a similar situation (child with autism) and everyone assumes we get all kinds of special benefits! in reality, we just spend our money wisely. i would probably qualify for PA, but we won't die without it, so i see no reason to get it. if more people had pride like you and i, our country would be in a much better economic state. good for you!


    Answer by bestmommyeber at 9:25 AM on May. 17, 2010

  • That is pretty crappy that someone will just assume you are on PA. I am a stay home mom and we manage on my husband's income and I also would be offended if someone just automatically assumed that we were not supporting ourselves without help.

    Answer by KTMOM at 8:49 AM on May. 17, 2010

  • Same here! I have a friend back home who called me and asked how much I receive a month for food stamps. I told her we don't get them and she was totally stumped. It's not that I would be completely embarrassed if we were on them, it's just the fact that she thought so lowly of my husband's job and our lifestyle.

    Answer by Ctink8189 at 8:52 AM on May. 17, 2010

  • how did they assume you were on PA? was it something you said? i have no idea how a school would assume this and how would they approach someone about it. i understand what you are saying. when i got pregnant everyone at work thought i would go pa just because i was a single mother. i was like i have a job. and i did not qualify. i hate when people assume things.

    Answer by lambdarose at 8:58 AM on May. 17, 2010

  • i a sahm, and dh works and were comfortable on day i was at the store buying cheese and bread ( we were gonna be going camping and needed last min things ) anyways the women scanning my food was like this cheese isent wick approved..i was like thats nice i will be sure to tell my bank...she was like ohh your not on PA.? no i am not, my dh makes enough for me to stay home sorry to disapoint u. i was shocked.. just cause its 10:00 in the am and im at the store dosent mean im on PA it just means i beat the rush. never judge a book by its cover. i have no trouble w/ people who need help. its none of my bussiness but never assume. i remember a homeless man in my old city i would offer him muffins or cookie when i made them anyways come to find out he was rich just not all there. he lost his whole family in a fire and was never right after that. but he slept outside, he was dirty, u just never know. he was a nice man

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:04 AM on May. 17, 2010

  • I think people like to judge. When my husband and me was 19 we were apartment hunting. We went to one location and the manager asked how old we was and were we married. We told her we was 19 and yes we was married. She flipped out on us going "I don't want to rent you all an apartment then you go and get a divorce because that's what happens with people your age!". My husband and me was shocked at how she went off on us. We were very happily married, still are over 8 years later. She knew nothing about us except our age and she thought she knew everything.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:39 AM on May. 17, 2010

  • We aren't on food stamps or anything either. Hubby was injured in Iraq and we get his retirement/disability pay from the Army and unemployment for a few months and that is enough to get us by until he finds a job. I have had people ask how we can afford for me to stay home, but I don't know how we could afford for me to work. We have kids and the cost of child care would far outweigh what I could make working. Especially with me being 7+ months pregnant.

    Answer by VintageWife at 9:40 AM on May. 17, 2010

  • Maybe the person doing the assuming deals a lot with people who get PA. If you worked at a store where about half the women shopping during M-F "business hours" used an EBT card or you were a school teacher whose classroom had half the students on free or reduced lunch, it's not a judgment on you.

    Answer by ecodani at 9:42 AM on May. 17, 2010

  • Our school sends ALL forms to ALL families so we do not have to try and guess who needs help and who does not. You can never tell who needs help. We send an extra form for free lunch anytime you have a negative balance in your lunch account for a week or more. I get them all the time because although we do not need help, I am horrible about re-filling lunch balances!

    I know a number of families with children with special needs that are doing just fine- it is silly to assume that special needs means people need money... there are plenty of dual income families in the hole!


    Answer by soyousay at 9:43 AM on May. 17, 2010

  • Im a SAHM also and we are not on PA lol.

    Answer by ryanlynn at 9:47 AM on May. 17, 2010