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How much "planning" should you put into family planning?

We're starting to have discussions about having our third child... We haven't had much trouble trying to conceive before (it was our third month of trying with our first, first month of trying with our second child), but we want to shoot for a window of having our third baby in the summertime because I will have a temporary faculty position at a university, which means that I can only take 6 wks sick leave for a baby, no real family leave. So we'd like to have a baby as early in the summer months as we can. But at the end of next May, if I don't have a newborn, I will be able to Philly to walk at graduation for my PhD, kind of a big deal for me. In my situation, would you wait an extra month to be able to attend graduation, but then only have two "ideal" months to have a baby, or would you want to have 3 chances to have a summer baby, starting in May? This question really sounds dumb, but I'm so torn!!!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:56 PM on May. 17, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (7)
  • I never had any reason to worry abot tit that much. LOL Personally I think I'd be more worried about making sure I can afford to raise and send my kids to college.

    Answer by itsmesteph11 at 1:59 PM on May. 17, 2010

  • OP: Shucks, I paid for my own college, I've been counting on my kiddos doing the same. Or getting full rides... :) But point taken.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:02 PM on May. 17, 2010

  • Well if you really only want to deliver no later then May. Stop TTC when you can not conceive 9 months earlier.


    Answer by louise2 at 2:06 PM on May. 17, 2010

  • Maybe my post was unclear... the issue is that I want to deliver sometime between May and July, but June and July are the most ideal, however by including May increases the chances (3 possible months rather than 2). I'm just wondering if others, in my position, would weaken the chances of a summer due date (which would give me more time at home with my little one) by trying to travel for the graduation.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:10 PM on May. 17, 2010

  • If you're financially stable to have a third child, are ready for one, and know that it's the right choice ... Then ... You should shoot for having the baby when it's right for you and your husband. If it's important to you to be able to walk down the isle at your graduation, then clearly you wouldn't want to try and convience where you'd be due at graduation. (or in at the end of your pregnancy either) If you want to convience where you'd have more open availability to stay home with the baby, then try for that. Try when you know the baby will be born in a time where you can take time off, financially afford the baby, and not have to miss any big events.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 4:12 PM on May. 17, 2010

  • I would shoot for the one that would give me the most time with my newborn. Being able to walk in my graduation would be a big deal to me too but my baby would be the bigger deal. The walk is only a little bit of time. What you do with that degree is going to be done through your lifetime. I'd rather have every second possible with my newborn before I had to go back to work.

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 4:37 PM on May. 17, 2010

  • I just wanted to also point out that traveling very far in your 9th month isn't allowed :)

    How upset would you be if you weren't able to conceive in the two month window? Would you wait another year, or just keep trying? If you are okay waiting longer, then put it off until it is the exact right time for you, or you could pay for IUI.

    Answer by twin_mommy at 4:46 PM on May. 17, 2010

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