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My SS makes me not EVER want kids of my own. Is this normal??

My stepson is a mean hearted child. He's rude and doesn't care who he hurts. His mom and his dad make excuses for him time and time again. It's gotten so bad that he can't go near my family or I won't go anywhere with him in public. Just an example. My mom had jaw surgery so her face was swollen. My idiot husband brought him to the hospital and his first thing was.. I guess you didn't die. (She almost did) and then he said. Your face is ugly. It's making me sick to look at. And he's 10. He's WAY old enough to know better. He's the most awful child. Lately though, it's gotten worse and I just can't stand even the thought of him. He's making me not even want kids of my own because I'm starting to dislike all children. Plus, I miscarried once and his reply was, Well I'm glad the baby died. I didn't want a brother/sister. Help me!! Should I just give up on having kids of my own? Do you feel this way about your own kids?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:47 PM on May. 17, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • I would be leaving this man...Thats not acceptible and if he is allowed to act that way I would not want kids either!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:48 PM on May. 17, 2010

  • OP here: Also, we have been married for 6 years. We got married when he was 4 yrs old and at the time.. he seemed to be an okay kid. His mother and father were never married and there is nothing going on in his life to make him this way. Just that his mother and father spoil him and NEVER discipline him because when they do, he threatens to call CPS on them. I guess my main question is... Do you dislike your own children at times or if I have a baby, I won't feel this way about it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:49 PM on May. 17, 2010

  • no I love my kids..not that they are perfect angles but we are not inot them disrespecting any adults. Thuis is not acceptible and they are not allowed to talk to kids little alone adults like this. WHy does his dad not punich him? Is this just ok? I would not be able to tolerate to be around him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:50 PM on May. 17, 2010

  • how old was he when his parents divorced? how well did they handle the divorce? there is probably a very hurt child under that anger. I think you should feel bad for him and help him find out where all this is coming from.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:50 PM on May. 17, 2010

  • I don't think I could deal with that. That's Horrible! Do not let this keep you from having kids...most children are not like this, and it sounds like this kid has something really wrong with him.
    LovingSAHMommy

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 3:51 PM on May. 17, 2010

  • This child is the way he is because his parents allow him to be.. It's a learned behavior, he has learned that he can say what he wants and his parents will do nothing.. Don't let this discourage you from having children.. Our chidren are our blessings.. But it might discourage you from having children with your husband without him first taking a few parenting classes.. It's obvious that he is lacking in the parenting department..
    Ren_Ren

    Answer by Ren_Ren at 3:51 PM on May. 17, 2010

  • more than likley you won't feel this way about your child but what happens when you spoil and do not discipline them when they are younger is the result of what your step son is. Its all cute when they are small but not so cute as they get older. My friend has a 9yr old who is a royal brat and they spoiled her bad as child and now they are like oh dear what have we created. Your kids will drive you nuts its what they do but they do what you allow them to get away with and they test you thats their job.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:52 PM on May. 17, 2010

  • I do not care what anyone says, you cannot love other peoples children like you do your own. Specifically step children not adopted children.

    I had two SS in a previous relationship that convinced me to never have kids, they were that bad. I have my own now and it is different.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:57 PM on May. 17, 2010

  • There are certain disorders that cause children to speak out bluntly like that. Don't hate the child, hate the behavior but I'd suggest dad have him tested. There is a difference between speaking their mind, being honest and being unacceptably rude.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:03 PM on May. 17, 2010

  • im not kidding here but maybe u should look up the number to supernanny. she has dealt with worse--kids and the parents who have refused to disapline them. you would b doing your self and your ss a big favor. this is the type of thing that gets worse as they grow older. and your dh is his father. i wouldnt want to b having his kids without some serious help--therapy and parenting classes.time is of the essence!. GL
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:08 PM on May. 17, 2010

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