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is she a control freak or just caring and being supportive? read the additional information below its alot

im 22 years old and a senior in college majoring in political science. i plan to graduate the end of this year. im 9 months pregnant and due any day now. today i got really emotional because of the situation i am in. my mother hates the childs father. she constantly gives me ultimatums like im a child literally. she says "i hope your not putting that baby in his last name", or "i hope he does not show up to the baby shower", or "i do not want him near my house or else i am going to call the police." but she always says its my baby and whatever i decide to do with my baby is my decisions. but she constantly tries to control everything. where i am every 5 minutes, ridiculing me about she hopes i finish college, and much more. what should i do continue allowing my mom to do this to me or should i just plan on moving with my son when i get back on my feet after i have him. i cannot keep taking this its tearing me up emotionally.


Asked by Anonymous at 4:41 PM on May. 17, 2010 in Pregnancy

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • Congratulations on your graduation, & your baby to be.

    My mother is much like yours. I'm 48. I moved out at 18, & I've never gone back home. I've always allowed her to continue talking to me & treating me the same though. I don't know how to stop it. Last year I got so mad that I finally quit talking to her (over my youngest son's high school graduation) I was waiting for an apology, even though I knew I'd never get 1.
    Well, she has to have an emergency surgery on her spine this Wed. so of course, I love my mom, & I'm talking to her as though nothing every happened. I've realized though, how much stress her constant criticism, & combative behavior causes me. I didn't realize until I went nearly a year without talking to her just how much stress it caused in my life. Just a conversation about cooking the other day became critical & argumentative, &there was nothing to argue about.


    Answer by ohwrite at 5:07 PM on May. 17, 2010

  • She's trying to control the situation because she's worried about your future. I know it's not right, but she's doing it out of love. It's time to have a heart to heart and let her know that it's your life and not hers.

    Answer by lowencope at 4:45 PM on May. 17, 2010

  • oh btw congrats! finishing school is hard!

    Answer by lowencope at 4:46 PM on May. 17, 2010

  • OMG I feel for you! Do what you feel is best for you and your son! I would try to get out from under your mom, the longer you are there in her house the more she can say what she wants and try to control you. So as soon as you get on your feet get out of there! I am sure that there is actually places that will help you to get out of your moms house.....what about the father of your son does he have his own place?

    Answer by proudmamafeb at 4:46 PM on May. 17, 2010

  • Its a mom thing!! she just wants the best for you and ur baby!! but she is worried about losing you or you getting hurt!! my mom does this kinda thing to shes sad that im growing up and i don't need her very much any more!! listen to her suggestiond but ultimately do what you feel is right she will understand!!

    Answer by tyanneS at 4:46 PM on May. 17, 2010

  • My husband and sons told me that I'm much more relaxed...less nervous when I don't talk to her, and that they'd rather not be around her themselves, and want me to limit contact with her because she makes things unpleasant.

    I think it's really sad, and she doesn't see what she does at all. I'm sure she has no idea how they feel. They don't say anything to her for my sake.

    I think I'd move out if you can. She will control and criticize whether you do or not, but you will be more confident, and be able to live the life you want better on your own. Maybe your mom will learn what mine hasn't.

    Good luck, and again congratulations!!!

    Answer by ohwrite at 5:10 PM on May. 17, 2010