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How do I stop my child frome becoming a bully?

There is violant behavior in our home & now she is picking it up. My husband gets angry & hits & throws things sometimes. I'm no better, he gets me so angry when we argue I wind up smacki9ng him on the arm or cursing him.I'm in thearpy for it, but now I see it manifesting in her. We think she doesn,t see or hear us fight, but obviosley we're wrong.What can I do today?

Answer Question
 
cynth727

Asked by cynth727 at 7:25 PM on May. 17, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • go to thearpy with her.... they might have some ideas
    princessbeth79

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 7:26 PM on May. 17, 2010

  • My opinion is to come to Jesus. You and your husband and daughter need to let Him in your heart before anything good can happen. Only He can change what is wrong in your lives.
    debrag239

    Answer by debrag239 at 8:02 PM on May. 17, 2010

  • holy moly..how about you seperate so she can not be in that violence and bad environment. you can not expect her not to bully when thats all she sees. They do what they SEE.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:34 PM on May. 17, 2010

  • I think you know the answer. You said above she sees it. So stop it. go to therapy.
    lynnard

    Answer by lynnard at 5:36 PM on May. 18, 2010

  • I think every single answer you've gotten so far is right on. Personally, I would leave my husband if he were to hit or throw things at me. It sounds as though you hit back in response to him hitting you, which sounds like self-defense. I would get into counseling, just you and your daughter, and get into a women's shelter. I don't think I'd feel safe staying with family. A violent man would know where to find you.

    I do think it's awesome that you are wanting to keep your child from becoming a bully. I was bullied, and it took me many years to forgive those girls. I wonder sometimes if they ever grew up to be nice people or not. GL to you, and be safe!
    Iamgr8teful

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 9:58 PM on May. 18, 2010

  • If you stay in that environment, your daughter turning into a bully is the least of your concerns. Get some help, and get out! There's no excuse for a grown man to hit, throw things and throw a temper tantrum. Especially with kids around.
    Laura2U

    Answer by Laura2U at 2:55 PM on May. 19, 2010

  • "There's no excuse for a grown man to hit, throw things and throw a temper tantrum. Especially with kids around. " My thoughts exactly. Who's to say he won't hit your daughter? Get help, now. For the sake of your child.
    weezer_cookie

    Answer by weezer_cookie at 10:30 AM on May. 20, 2010

  • easy.... GROW UP AND KNOCK IT OFF!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:55 PM on May. 20, 2010

  • honestly you have to lead by example, she has seen what you have done, sit her down and tell her how you were wrong for it and what you are doing to try to change. see if she wants to see a theapist too (for witnessing violent fights, hitting, etc) which could help her understand better ways to deal with issues. stop the violence in the home - weither the child sees it or not - it is wrong... dh and you are both wrong, i am so glad that you are getting some help, dh has to do the same too or you have to set the example of next time he has a tantrum he needs to leave the house for awhile (if not permanently) you have to show your dd that the practice isnt acceptable and it is ending today. there is no other way around it if you dont want to mess up your dd.
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 2:16 PM on May. 20, 2010

  • well you are already going to therapy which is a start... you need to get her in as well and you need to do your hardest not to react in anger like that.. it is called domestic violence and illegal.. even just throwing stuff is still called domestic violence. I also agree with AmaliaD . You really need to be the example and your husband too. Otherwise it could backfire on all of you and you do not want to lose your daughter .
    Shaneagle777

    Answer by Shaneagle777 at 3:47 PM on May. 20, 2010

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