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Whats wrong with me!?!

Okay so ive been with my boyfriend for 7 yrs and here lately ive lost all romantic feelings for him, i still love him but dont feel attracted to him at all in any level, i feel like such a loser when im with him, i feel hopeless and depressed! im in no way shape or form interested in him anymore, istead ive been fantasizing about other men and think of how much better off i would be if i was with a different person, bc i will honest my friends isnt catch he refuse to go to college and drinks alot he is messy and drinks alot. i see so many men that have it together and its starting to make me depressed and feel crazy b/c im constanly wishing and daydreaming of being with another man. sure i could leave him but he never leaves and he is pretty much my roomate here so its like all the bills will be on me...but is there a chance i might just be going through a little something silly that will pass ...continue on the naswers--->

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:15 AM on May. 18, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • in my experience, most people arent likely to change. if hes that way, hes probly for the most part going to stay that way. it sounds like you need a fresh start.
    sstokes86

    Answer by sstokes86 at 2:19 AM on May. 18, 2010

  • and i will wake up one day just loving his inperfections?? he isnt a bad guy, he just isnt who i wanted to end up with, he has no goals or desires in life, but he is the father of my child....so hard! the part that is killing me is that i feel delusional bc i just think how much better my life would be and ive even consired approching some of these men that seem to be what i want...im not a bitch, i think im just going through a crisis bc here iam with the same man since i was 19 and there aint much of a different im the one who has to get the loans and credit cards b/c he doesnt even have credit im the one who is busting her ass at school hoping to have a better future, im the one who begs him to take a trip with me, bc he has never left the state he was born in!!! ahhh im going crazy! i feel like im losing my grip on life! help!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:20 AM on May. 18, 2010

  • I left my husband because I wasn't attracted to him anymore. We were together for 5 years and I just left because I felt like I was suffocating. My husband had a great career, was very helpful, did everything for me and our child, we had the same goals and dreams but I couldn't stand him. I loved him just didn't like him, maybe? Anyways, I came back after a year because I made a mistake and we've been happily together for 4 years now. It was the best thing we could do for our marriage, financially it broke us, but we're happy now and I never wonder, "what if."
    Your situation sounds a bit different, though. He doesn't seem to have the same dreams or desires in life as you do. You are going to have to write up a pros and cons list and really decide if this is the person you want to be with. Good luck, sweetheart.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:31 AM on May. 18, 2010

  • I went through this EXACT situation only not involving kids and we were married. I felt exactly the same way as you. We were roomates. I didn't love him. I used to dream about being with anyone other than him. This is really bad, but he was a smoker and a drinker and I used to wish he would die early from it so I would be free. That is a terrible thing to admit but I did. Well I guess the situation is a little different because he was very verbally abusive to me and then it turned physical and finally ended when he held a gun to my head. I finally left his sorry behind, and I found a real man that I love so much it hurts. I honestly didn't think that love like this would happen for me but it did. We have been together for almost 6 years now and have 3 kids! I don't know your whole situation, but if you want to talk about it feel free to msg me.
    Sorechia

    Answer by Sorechia at 3:45 AM on May. 18, 2010

  • How long have you been in school? It could be the change of you being in school has caused you to question your relationship. You may see other men that seem to have it all together but all men have flaws. You just can't see the other mens flaws through their public face. You mention the drinking...is this a major problem in the relationship?
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 8:12 AM on May. 18, 2010

  • Accept him as is or move on. I see no other options.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:35 AM on May. 18, 2010

  • I feel the same way you do. I dont love my DH and havent for a long time. I have seen things about him that have soured the love I once had for him. I dont know what to do. I know he loves me with all his heart so it is really hard for me to leave... I just keep on thinking that it would crush him so I am having a real hard time with leaving....I finally told him what I need this weekend and I am waiting for him to give it to me but so far no improvement. I am hoping if he gives me what I need I can find that love again....
    sassy43082

    Answer by sassy43082 at 9:24 AM on May. 18, 2010

  • I see 2 key words in your story, kid and drinking. From all the relationships I have seen through the years if you allow the drinking then you are enabling it and it may get worse! Secondly, you need to think of your child! Coming from divorced parents, I rather them be divorced, then to continue with seeing them fight verbally and physically. It is so very scary for children. My child would come first!!! There is alot of help out there for single parents. The way I see it is your child needs protection and guidance, and DH seems not to be the one to do it right now, The only way you are gonna break the circle is to leave and demand that the only way for him to come back (if at all) is for him to go to detox!! An alcoholic is when the drinking effects any part of your life, does not matter if it is only a few drinks,,, Just know You and your child are first !!! Your DH is grown enough to either continue on or seek help!

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:01 AM on May. 18, 2010

  • Thanks guys! this is some good advice!....well he doesnt get abusive physically nor verbal....but i have a bigger problem i logged in this morning and left it open so when i got home from school he was already home from work and on the computer, it didnt hit that i had left my account open until i saw his face which was red and when he didnt say much to me...i knew right then and there that he had seen my post! ugh i almost fainted! i kept asking him whats wrong, but his face just got redder and he sd he will talk to me later bc our son has company....my sons little friends are still here and he has went into the room...gosh im so scared not bc he will hurt me but bc of what he saw...i was venting my personal feelings....you know even though its true i cant imagine how much ive hurt him...i dont know what to tell him when my sons friends leave....now i have a bigger problem...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:16 PM on May. 18, 2010

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