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SAHM vs. husband's comments, what do you think?

" I don't get why women stay at home. I mean if the kids are in school or grown. I have guys in my shop who have no kids at home and their wives never went to work. That would piss me off. I think they should so that the workload would be more evenly distributed."
MY response was, well, maybe they still cook and clean and pay the bills and do all the gardening. Maybe they don't have time to work. Maybe working would be a vacation. AND, I got a full time job. my hubby is missing me and what I did when I had more energy. :)
But I think he still doesn't value sahm or me for that matter. :(


Asked by Anonymous at 3:59 AM on May. 18, 2010 in Just for Fun

This question is closed.
Answers (104)
  • But there should be room in any family to take a look based on the needs of the family to decide who plays what role and when. To say-only men do this or only women do this based on something other than the needs of the family is not a good thing. My husband and I have changed roles numerous times in our marriage based on a variety of factors-


    I understand the $$$ piece-if it's not a financial advantage, it makes no sense.

    Just seems funny that those who talk about the kids being #1 and raising the kids, and the kids being the priority are quick to discount the possibility of a DAD being the stay-at-home parent for those kids. It appears the gender specific role, is more important than 1 parent actually being at home with the kids.  


    Answer by Sisteract at 11:24 AM on May. 18, 2010

  • I don't see why it pisses him off it's not his wife or his life. If the guys he works with don't care then it's none of his business and he shouldn't be getting worked up about it. I doubt they sit on their butts all day and if they don't need the extra money and they're both fine with the arrangement then who the hell cares?

    Answer by Blueliner at 4:03 AM on May. 18, 2010

  • That is just it. They do sit on their butts all day according to them. Some of the guys DO want their wives to work, but feel they are SAHM and that is all they will ever be. He just doesn't get the mindset of the older guys. I told him I don't get his mindset. I really don't think he sees or appreciates what is done for him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:14 AM on May. 18, 2010

  • Makes sense to me. Cooking and cleaning is not the equivalent to having a job. I would never be a stay at home mom in part because I wouldn't want to put that pressure on my husband like that.

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 5:57 AM on May. 18, 2010

  • Kids are not in school year round. And when they get sick someone needs to care for them. How many sick days does he think a job is going to give you for both you and your kids. That is why people with kids in day care get majorly pissed off when their child is sick and you tell them to come pick them up. We heard it all the time at the daycare center "I can't keep taking off for this you know" Can't take off to care for your own sick child, nice.

    Answer by BlooBird at 5:58 AM on May. 18, 2010

  • The whole point is that SAHM do work. They clean, cook, take care of the house, and kids as well. Lets throw in pets as well. Then to tell them to get a job, yet they still have all the above to do after work. So ask him if you go to work is he going to help out with the household and children. Take time off from work to pick up a sick child take them to the doctor get their meds and stay home with them? Will he take time from his job, to do all of that for a day or two so that you get equal time for your job? Will he help with the household? Will he give you time to unwind after a hard day at work? Perhaps this will help him. Also make a list of things done at the household that would be divided equally for the month. Let him see what he is asking for not for himself but you as well. Hope this helps as it was meant too.

    Answer by CloudWeaver at 6:53 AM on May. 18, 2010

  • I don't really understand what your husband's opinion has to do with anyone else. I am sure he keeps his opinions of his co workers to himself when he is at work and knows that these things are only to be shared amongst couples because it's not right to tell other people how to live their lives... Too bad you don't have the same sense.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:56 AM on May. 18, 2010

  • Cloudweaver, honestly - most of the working moms that I know share equally in the responsibilities of the home, and if I get the job my fingers are crossed for right now, then I will expect more help from my husband as well. He'll have to cook dinner some nights, he'll have to help with the laundry, and depending on how many sick days we each have he'll have to take time off with our sick son (he's a teacher and has like 30 sick days banked right now anyway).

    As a matter of fact, I am fortunate enough to have a husband who helps out a lot anyway. He volunteers to do bath time about 4 or 5 nights a week. On nights when he doesn't give our son a bath he picks up the post dinner whirl wind fall out while I am upstairs bathing our son and putting him to bed. He often moves laundry or starts laundry when he knows it needs to be done (I finish it off though, or it would never get folded).

    Answer by beckcorc at 7:05 AM on May. 18, 2010

  • I think maybe he should mind his own business. Why does what other people do make him angry,

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 7:17 AM on May. 18, 2010

  • Well, my husband only works 40 hours with me being a SAHM and he'd still work 40 hours if I worked. It wouldn't actually give him any kind of break if I worked because if he wouldn't be working less. AND....we don't need the extra income. After all of our bills are paid, groceries are bought AND money is put in to savings we have close to $1200 a month left for ourselves. So, me working wouldn't relieve his work hours or be a necessary thing for our income. We have just 2 teens at home for now but they graduate soon and in July and Aug. leave for the Army and college. after that it's just us and our bills will drop by about $300 a us $300 MORE a month. Hubby likes having me home when he gets home, he likes having me home on his days off, we're planning a lot of day trips and overnighters once the boys are out of the house....this is OUR time. No one needs to worry about OUR choices.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:39 AM on May. 18, 2010