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So is there a point when you tell Deadbeat Dad that he isnt welcome in your childs life?

my dd will be 6 next month and her bio-dad has been mostly out of her life and so has his family. he chose to live with and raise another womans 2 kids and he has 3 other kids of his own that he doesnt see often either. he and my dd see each other 2 or 3 times a year, last christmas was the first time he had even gotten her a gift (a doll from the dollar store). he only calls every 6 months or so and tries to get me to take her to him. my daughter knows my boyfriend as her father, he has been taking care of her since she was 2 and she calls him dad. she knows bio-dad only by first name and as her friend, not a father. he was in jail last month for not paying child support and is now out and calling to spend time with dd since its been 5 months since he has. should i just tell him to move on as we have or do i keep letting him in bc he is her father? he doesnt even have a place to live now that his girlfriend kicked him out.


Asked by Anonymous at 9:09 AM on May. 18, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Being the biological dad or paying child support, and it doesn't sound like he's even being that decent, doesn't entitle him to flit in and out of her life contrary to at least one opinion you've gotten. I don't see the point of him being around. Unfortunately though if his rights have not been signed away or terminated by the courts I don't know if you can legally stop him, know what I mean?

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 9:49 AM on May. 18, 2010

  • i think that if i was you i would also want to just tell him to fuck himself and not let my dd around him ... but when she grows up, she might be upset about that. you should probably let them have a little contact with eachother, until shes old enough to decide for herself. wether they are good parents or not, it seems to me like most kids still want there bio parents in there life, just bc they are there bio parents.

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 9:11 AM on May. 18, 2010

  • yup.. my son's biodad was the same. He had nothing to do with him until i went i enforced child support and then he was calling and everything. I told him to fuc* off. I told him that being a dad was a full time job not something he could do when he "felt" like it. I told him he could hire an attorney if he ever wants to see my child and so far he hasnt made the effort and i dont think he ever will. Which is fine by me because if he ever does i will fight him on that.

    Answer by shay1130 at 9:16 AM on May. 18, 2010

  • He is the bio dad. He has rights and one of those rights include seeing his dd. Just bc you don't like him doesn't mean you can keep him from getting to know his child

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:37 AM on May. 18, 2010

  • You should review your child support order, to determine what his visitation rights are. Also the laws can differ from state to state so I would visit your states Attorney Generals website for your states laws.
    My husband had a son when he was a teen and the girl & her family wouldn't allow visitation. When the son got grown he contacted my husband and now they have a great relationship. The sad part is.... he said he always wanted to know his father but he was 28 before that happened.
    Ultimately your daughter will be the one who suffers the most not knowing her flesh and blood father. I would advise to allow them to visit... as long as he isn't abusive or exposing her to drugs and things like that. Remember though to know the laws in your state. If you are uncertain I would contact the Attorney Generals office or an attorney.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:46 AM on May. 18, 2010

  • Never.its her father and she should know him(if i were in that situation)

    Answer by ryanlynn at 9:57 AM on May. 18, 2010

  • If he just sees her for a short time and in a controlled enviroment I would continue to let him see her. Can you just meet him for dinner and then she wouldnt have to go with him? I wouldnt wan thim taking her anywhere but atleast he is only seeing her twice a year. When she grows up and knows the whole story it will be best that you protected her but left the door open for her dad. She can then see that it was him who walked away and not you pushing him away. I know it is frustrating because I go thru this with my dd's dad. After our divorce he moved and only sees her once a year. He goes thru spurts of calling. It drives me crazy how inconsistant he is but that is for my dd to learn.

    Answer by ria7 at 10:15 AM on May. 18, 2010

  • Do it through the courts and there is free help if you cannot afford an attorney.

    Answer by GMMOLLY at 5:43 PM on May. 18, 2010