Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

why my ex still haunts my mind? please answer if you have had this happen. i posted earlier with no answers so thought i would try again, thanks.

i am very happy and in love with my husband but for some reason i get these haunting flashbacks all the time. sometimes its when we making love, sometimes its when i'm walking in the house i'm afraid he is going to be inside waiting for me or come behind me. Why do i think of him? I hated him! He was the biggest sleeze ball i have ever been with. I know its probably normal to fear he may be lingering around but why on earth would i have him in my head when i'm having sex with my husband? I don't want him there. It doesnt happen all the time but it has and it bothers me. Could it be from having sexually frustrating issues with him when we were together?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:39 AM on May. 18, 2010 in Just for Fun

Answers (4)
  • Could it be from having sexually frustrating issues with him when we were together?

    Absolutely! When a man damages you sexually, usually he damages you emotionally too. Once a man gets into your mind, it's hard to heal. Have you heard of an internal bruise? It's a bruise on your bone, and it is very painful. It takes a long time for it to go away. Well you have a mental bruise. You need time. Time heals all wounds.
    LisaG777

    Answer by LisaG777 at 10:48 AM on May. 18, 2010

  • It could be that you are trying too hard NOT to think of him. I remember taking a psych class and the teacher gave an assignment. He said "The secret word is 'elephant,' your assignment is to forget the secret word." No one forgot it. The harder you try to forget something, the more you remember it. The mind is a mysterious thing. Try not to read too much into it. As the thoughts come into your head gently dismiss them and go about your business. It doesn't mean that you miss your ex or that you have unfinished business with him, it just means that you are trying too hard to keep him out of your mind and it's backfiring.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 10:50 AM on May. 18, 2010

  • Omg I had the same problem. Everytime I would go to certain spots around our neighbor hood I would think about him. And he was a total douche bag. And for the life of me I could figure out why. Cuz I love my husband SO much. So I got this "Dream Book" and there was a segment on EX's and it said that "you could have some unresolved issues with them. It doesnt mean you prefer your earlier partner. It might just mean that your new spouse has some characteristics of your old one." I dont know if this will help you but it helped me. I met up with my ex and talked with him and i realized how much better off I am without that loser and the dreams and the thoughts stopped.
    I HOPE THIS HELPED YOU A LITTLE BIT :)
    hayliesmommy20

    Answer by hayliesmommy20 at 11:05 AM on May. 18, 2010

  • thanks that does help some. It does freak me out because when my dh goes without shaving and rubs up against me it seems it happens because my ex never shaved. I have to have sex with my eyes open because when i close them i picture my ex and his gross beard rubbing on me. Maybe i could just ask my dh to shave more although i think he does look good with a little facial hair.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:17 AM on May. 18, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN